t4L in a Nutshell: March 2015

3/31/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

OMITTED DITTIES: (cause we can't blog every amazing song that grazes our path. We do have lives yah know!......well. kinda)  

Rihanna- Stay (Branchez Remix)
No surprise here that my boy Branchez puts out another flawless yet quirky remix. Remember his remix of "High You Are" #HeaveninaHeadphone?

Makes you feel: Like ur surrounded by DJing chipmunks
(Round and around and around Alvin goes) 

Wolf Saga ft. LYON- Kids (MGMT Cover)- **FREE DOWNLOAD** 
They killed it with their remake of "You Only Live Once" and they continue to get away with covering some of the most classic of tracks. 
Makes you feel: YOUNG AGAINNN (basically aural botox*)

*brb gonna patent that. that's gonna be a thing  doctors specialize in soon. You think that job seem crazy but there are people in China whose legit full-time job it is to fluff pandas so maybe my aural therapist profession isn't so farfetched).

Oddisee- That's Love
Like Mambo No. 5 but it lists types of love instead of dated female baby names.
Makes you: believe in love again (any one of the 10 types Oddisee mentions. Silly me, I thought there was only 2 types of love. The love I feel for pizza and the love I feel for the internet.)

Jess Glynne- Hold My Hand (Le Youth Remix)

Ugh, Jess Glynne why aren't you 10x more famous. You have the voice of an angel and the hair of a Pantene commercial.
Makes you feel: Like dancing the night away with your homegirls and ONLY your homegirls

Phoebe Ryan- Ignition/ Do You (Win & Woo Remix)- **FREE DOWNLOAD**
Think the original if the original had hopped a plane to the Dominican and a Delorean to the 1980's.
Makes you feel: as happy and relaxed as these pups on their tropical vacation

Jack LNDN- Fooled Around- **FREE DOWNLOAD**

I mean, I still have "Don't Forget" on permanent repeat, but I guess I'll just have to add another Jack LNDN track to the playlist. 
Makes you feel: kind of robotic and stiff but still with the urge to dance. Like Dr. Evil doing the macarena 

MNEK- The Rhythm (Sebastian Carter Edition)- **FREE DOWNLOAD**

Basically just blogging this track so everyone remembers just how m*th**f**k**g good the original was. 
Makes you wish: That you looked like these professional dancers when "the rhythm got to you"

instead of looking like Liz Lemon practicing to "party dance all night" at a "discotheque" when "the rhythm gets to you"


Beauville - Letting In (prod. NoMBe)

3/31/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Wuddup, NoMBe! This is our second post this week recognizing your talents ;) Don't know why I just winked at you electronically. It felt pithy and appropriate.* Moving on... LA based duo Beauville recruited NoMBe to produce the single "Letting In" off of their upcoming debut album. After climbing the ranks of Hypem's most popular tracks for weeks, it is clear that this collaboration was a wise decision for sure. The song leads off with acoustic strumming that immediately takes me back to my middle school days when Dispatch were musical gods** and puka shell necklaces were sexy. Take no offense guys! Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. Plus, the combination of lyrics, vocals, and addition of darker vibes @ 1:35 lend this song the grit it needs veer away from any Ryan Cabrera comparisons. It's like how Adam Levine writes songs like "Moves Like Jagger" but has tattoo sleeves on both arms. No one questions his street cred. It just works. Hence, I hope to see more from you guys! Ya make a good team.

* P.S. This may surprise you given your previous tweet addressing T4L as "sirs," but we are in fact a trio of girls. Hopefully that knowledge will make you feel less weird about my virtual flirting. Or not, as you wish.

** "Two Coins" still makes me swoon. Not ashamed.

Ed Sheeran - Coco (Hitimpulse Remix)

3/31/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Gather 'round subscribers, I have had an epiphany! RAPPERS ARE EVIL GENIUSES. I know I know, the newest batch of club rat nonsense that is passing for hip-hop these days should make you think that none of them passed the eighth grade. BUT I urge you to reconsider. Just think, Big Sean has managed to get the masses shouting "you stupid ass bitch I ain't fuckin witchu." Not only is this socially acceptable but has become a subliminal movement to unite the races! Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, even Asians- drunk in the club, insulting each other and loving it! A melting pot, all united under one asinine catch phrase. The founding fathers would be so proud. All the while, Big Sean and his cohorts are probably laughing at all us dumb mother fuckers supplying them with millions. Brilliant, gentlemen.

This brief cultural analysis leads us to Ed Sheeran's cover of rap's latest piece de resistance, "CoCo".* Here we have a perfect example of the musical phenomenon described above. A pale ginger nerd and a gangster having a musical meeting of the minds, all prompted by the lyrics "BAKING SODA, I got BAKING soda."(<--- which Sheeran managed to make sound angelic, btw) It's truly inspiring. To top it all off, Hitimpulse** ups the diversity quota by adding a little hipster, electro flavor. BAM, we've hit the trifecta. Really though, their addition is on point - everything you'd want an electronic rework to be AND free on soundcloud. Thx guys!In sum, this cover embodies the future of musical collaboration that transcends those cafeteria stereotypes from Mean Girls. And y'all, it is bright!!

* True story, my roommate was convinced that "I'm in love with the CoCo" was an homage to beautiful black woman. Ahh, wouldn't that be a nice?

** Apologies for not discussing more of your musical prowess in this post, Hitimpulse. Really just needed to share my anthropological musings with the world wide web. Consider this a T4L  "I owe you."

Kygo - Stole the Show

3/30/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

No lie, I am a snob about remixes. Yes there is probably a better version than the original, but how the f am I supposed to listen to 41 remixes of Blank Space to identify which one is superior?!? The answer is I don't. But Kygo has made me excited about remixes. TLC's Waterfalls? Somewhere Over the Rainbow? Dolly Fucking Parton!? I love all of it. He's seriously the best. One of my biggest regrets is blacking out at his concert. He also led me from my village of Ed Sheeran hatred to a place of pure love.  (Ok my car broke down halfway there but that is certainly progress). But we are actually not here to discuss a Kygo remix, but rather, original material. "Stole the Show" is a slice of sparkly rainbow cake. Parson James reminds me of the best British house vocalists, and the flute-y background is uplifting and calming aahhh. When I listen to this song, I feel like I could be: 1. Kite boarding a tranquil wave at sunset in Thailand.  2. A tiny leprechaun running through the Irish countryside in a spring rain storm 3. Driving my car with the windows down. A+

Kerri Watt- You (Oliver Nelson Remix)

3/30/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

ALL HAIL OLIVER NELSON. Homeboy is the Henry Higgins of the music industry. Taking British girls, sprucing them up in just the right ways but then teaching them to FUCK the rain in Spain and travel to a sunny tropical island instead. First we were floored by his improvement of an already infectious song, Ella Henderson's "Ghost". His latest project is his summery rework of Kerri Watt's "You" which can only be described as a hidden gem in the truest of forms. Because from extensive research on Kerri Watt, I've only deduced 2 things: 1. that Kerri Watt looks uncannily like the love child of Madonna and Lindsay Lohan (ew, back when both of them were pretty, duh. The love child of both of them now looks like Mr. Magoo with cheap blonde extensions) and 2. that Kerri Watt is basically a nobody. And by "nobody" I mean she only has 2 singles, no Wikipedia page and no presence on Hypem except for this little remixed ditty. Which is a real shame because, judging from this song, Ms. Watt has too much spunk and too velvety of vocals to be a nobody. Although Ella Henderson was a nobody and now her track about Nearly Headless Nick is overplayed to death on the radio. So here's to your future, Kerri Watt. May you music become so mainstream that I get sick of it #theauralAmericandream #AURALnotORAL #pervs. (Idk what the "oral American dream" would be, but I'm guessing at least 2 of the Kardashian sisters would be involved.)

GTA- Red Lips (ft. Sam Bruno)

3/30/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

Well someone h8s Tay Swift. JK, but homegirl is always rocking the Revlon red lipstick and all I can think is that this song is based on a conspiracy theory that pop music's lauded GND* is a person with a secret of Bob-Durst proportions**. Weirdly I wouldn't be that surprised. ALSO, wouldn't it be super epic if whenever this song is performed, Sam Bruno wears red lipstick? Then the phrase "red lips always lie" will be coming from red lips! Which means it's a lie... But if it's a lie then that means red lips always tell the truth...Ahhhhh, my brain is fried just thinking about the mind fuck that creates. Sam Bruno, if you're reading this, pLZ do what I described.

So I guess I like trap now? Like really eerie, borderline-Alvin-and-the-Chipmunks-sounding trap? God, my music taste is getting wayyyy too hipster for my everyday J.Crew ensembles. Brb, gonna go binge-watch The Hills to revert back to a more basic mindset. Gotta be careful how much I watch, though, or next thing you know I'll be so basic that I'm blogging North West's newest single "RugBRATZ" (ft. Prince George)(<-- the royal, infant one. Not PrinzeGeorge, the band. I like to think they would have higher standards when choosing a vocalist to collab with).

Idk if it's just both song's attention to oral behavior, but I get some serious Marian Hill "Lips" vibes from this song. Which is also a v creepy track. Although I guess you can't say phrases like "feel your breath on my neck" or "cause red lips/ have a filthy price/ that's a murder in paradise" without sounding eerie AF. Def filing this track in the playlist "Wednesday Addams on Acid". That fictitious, pigtailed mo'-fo would be all over these creepy vocals. Vocals that really can only be described as what Rihanna would sound like if she was addicted to helium instead of shitty boyfriends and every party drug on the planet.
*Girl Next Door #leDUH

**if u have HBO, go and watch the Robert Durst documentary IMMEDIATELY. I'll be available at tunes4loons.email@gmail.com for when you want to thank me for giving you the best TV reccommendation of the decade.

LIVE! Review: Laura Marling (The Warsaw 3/23/15)

3/29/2015 T4L 0 Comments

I caught this british folk-rock songbird sporting a pixie cut and crooning to the middle school gym-sized room at the Polish National House in Williamsburg.  Backed by a three piece guitar/bass/drums rock outfit, Marling split time playing faster tracks with her band and alternatively casting spells with her enchanting voice and acoustic guitar.

If you haven't heard her yet you can expect a voice that lands somewhere between Joni Mitchell and Alanis Morissette, though with her tempo changes and occasional singspeak she possesses a sound uniquely her own.  Basically her voice is the perfect storm to make almost anyone weak in the knees.

The 25 year old-veteran has been pursuing music professionally since she was 16 and certainly works a stage like she's been there before.  During the concert she bantered with an adoring audience, restarted a song after admittedly fucking up, and even scrapped a song 30 seconds in.  Towards the end of the show she explained that she doesn't believe in encores and quibbed  "I only have two songs left, but if you need an encore, I guess this next one is my last (*rolls eyes*) song." If you're a sucker for talented acoustic women, make sure you give her a listen.  

Favorite tracks: I was an Eagle, Short Movie


NoMBe - California Girls

3/28/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Feeling kinda dumb that this is the first I'm hearing of producer NoMBe (aka Noah McBeth, see what he did there? It's like the SoHo of stage names. Clever man). Noah, although your moniker would probably be more suitable for that robot blob in Big Hero 6*, you clearly know a thing or two about producing some dope beatzz.

"California Girls" had me hooked from the onset with one of the smoothest guitar riffs I've ever heard. Layer on some raspy talk-singing and a driving beat and the effects are akin to musical heroin. Seriously, this shit is relaxing on another level. Lyrically, this track can best be described as a disenchanted love letter to jaded, likely drug-addcited SoCal beauties. It builds up to approx. 3:00 where NoMBe gives us what I imagine to be his personal mantra in the lyrics, "Ooo how I love the smell of west coast pheromones." Something about this phrase really creeps me out and conjures the image of a butt-sniffing dog on the Santa Monica pier. But if I learned anything from my 5th grade English teacher, good writing paints a picture for your reader. So Schoolhouse Rock and I give you an A+, NoM! Keep crankin out those tunes.

*Truly the best pixar movie since Wall-E. I guess have a thing for robots with the mannerisms and and emotional capacity of a toddler. Note: Comedic effects enhanced by ingestion of THC.

Robert Delong - Long Way Down (Sean Glass Remix)

3/28/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Bloggers across the universe are jizzing themselves over this song's supposed similarities to a James Bond theme song. And I definitely get it. The ominous horns are pure "GOLDFINGAAAA." But I am stuggling to imagine this song co-existing with Daniel Craig's presence. Mainly because James Bond is a MAN. And Robert DeLong's music is for juveniles like me. Yes we pay rent, but we don't pay for bottled water at the movie theater because you can get a tiny cup of tap for free***. We certainly aren't playing high stakes poker in Monaco. Tbh I don't even know the rules of poker. Essentially this song isn't mature enough to be in James Bond, and it shouldn't be. Old people are boring. I saw Rod Stewart on the street last week and even he was boring!! Blah blah ageism sorry. Specifically love the line "I've been fucking around while you been saving the world" It's like James Bond's fictional bratty son Rodrigo ventured into music. Robert Delong, I'm sorry I spent this whole post talking about James Bond - you probably give no fucks about Quantum of Solace ^^^ On its own this song is perfect. Love you mean it.

Ps. Sean Glass I'm sorry I didn't mention you till right now - you obviously brought your A game. I mean there's a reason I'm posting this version.

***this one might just be me. If I ever become a rap star my name will be #pennypincher

^^^does anyone ? Casino Royale 4ever.   

Sia- Elastic Hearts (FKYA & ALMOND Remix)

3/25/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

As the Katy Perry and Ke$ha crazes come to a close, I feel like the fight for America's Next Top Model Fem-Pop Superstar is a tight race between Tove Lo and Sia. They're kind of like the 2015 C-List versions of Britney and Christina circa 2002. Both girls are neck in neck in terms of creating infectious pop anthems for people trying to cling onto their college glory days (aka everyone). Only time will tell which songstress will succeed* and which will eat their feelings for 5 years before joining the the reality TV circuit and becoming a judge for the 2020 reality TV competition: Jazz In My Pants, in which overweight, forgotten celebs dance to jazz music while wearing their tight pants from when they were skinny and in shape. The winner is the person who dances the longest without ripping their jeans up the ass.

This remix was a pleasant surprise**. Usually I don't like a remix if I love the original song. And who couldn't love the raw emotions and whiny (in a good way) vocals of Sia's original? But ALMOND and FKYA's additions from the boosted tempo to the house synth all work to elevate this track to the next level. It's also the type of track that makes you feel like you just did cardio for an hour when all you've been doing is sitting on your ass looking up "March Madness for Dummies" on Google. It's the kind of jam that immediately pumps you up. Like play this for that friend who is always debating staying in on Friday night. At the end of the song, present them with a shot of Jose and they'll be G2G. This method has an even higher success rate than the Bend n Snap. 

But rly... ALMOND? THAT's ur DJ name? It's not just "almond", as in a Starbucks order like"non-fat eggplant-spiced latte with 2 splashes of almond milk and a swirl of vanilla soy milk pLZZ" (sad that this is actually on the simplistic end of most Starbucks orders). It's "ALMOND" as in "WHY DID YOU LET ME EAT THAT GRANOLA TRAIL MIX?? I'M ALLERGIC TO ALMONDS AND NOW MY THROAT IS SWELLING SHU--". Lets try to leave the all-caps and legumes out of the music industry from now on, mmkay Mr. Peanut?

p.s. Just looked up a picture of u, ALMOND, to pair it with the post. And i officially retract my previous betchiness. With that hair and that smile u can name urself whatever DA FUQ u want. No one's gonna be paying attention to what you're saying when you introduce yourself on stage anyway. Girls will be busy drooling and guys, in turn, will be channeling their inner Jo-bro and getting jealous.

*success in the entertainment industry: aka you get famous to the point where it breaks you as a human being. I guess one man's success is reality's rock bottom.

**sick transition, i know. BUT! as bad as it was, it was still 10x more fluid than this bimbo of a golf interviewer's attempt at a transition.

Phony PPL - Why Iii Love the Moon

3/25/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

From this promo photo, it appears there are 8 people in this band. Whaaaaatttt. They are basically the Duggar family of indie soul music. I'm going to be honest, I'm a little confused to what each member is contributing, because when I listen to this I hear: 1 person singing vocals, 1 piano player, casual drums, and claps. That means 3 to 4 people max. Do the other four people provide Kraft services? Phony PPl, if you read this plz let me know what your various roles are. The mystery is as great as the true colors of DRESS. Besides this, I have nothing but positive things to say about "Why Iii Love the Moon." A real throwback to the chilled out rap of the early 90s. Kind of Tribe Called Questy. I luvvvv the hook. A soulful person croons "Be careful where you look for love" over punchy piano and kick drums. Also, can I just sing the praises of casual rap for a second. 9 out of 10 times we are hearing about fucking bitches and shooting up nightclubs, and I am very thankful that instead we are listening to someone wax poetic about the moon. Follow ur bliss Phony PPL.

Black Coast - Ride (ft. M.Maggie)

3/25/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Black Coast and M. Maggie return with a follow up to upbeat Feist-esque jam "Enough." However, as far as I am concerned, it might as well be a different musical artist. Super different vibes. And I mean this as a compliment, I am very disconcerted when I listen to this. It's ultimately pleasing, but there is something so sad about this song. Can't really put my finger on it. When listening, I kind of feel like a small town high school football star who's approaching his 40th birthday. Or like Ryan Atwood who has just discovered M. Cooper's lifeless body in the car wreck. Or a Native American being driven off his tribal land. That was so culturally insensitive I'm going to just move on. Sorry the Kardashians have seeped into my being. But you get the point right? Basically I feel like all my dreams have died. But also I'm drunk so this could be an off base assessment.Should I write more drunk posts? Going up on a tuesday am i rite? Black Coast n M. Maggie u rule. Give me more songs. I will accept both happy and sad songs.


Gold Spectacles - Steal You Away

3/23/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Guys I could not find a pic of you, so this is what you get. There were a lot of options to choose from, but I concluded these pair of spectacles suited your music the best. Although I would not like to run into the person with eyes wide-set enough to wear those. **Shudder** But actually I would like to compliment you on an amazing band name. I think I spend 40% of my time ridiculing band names on this website, and it gets pretty tiring***. You bring such joy to me Gold Spectacles!! So does your song. It's reminding me very specifically of another band called Pale. Your singers sound so alike^^^. Also Alt-J when Alt-J is having a non-Adam-Sandler sounding day. But "Steal You Away" is bouncier and thus more fun. Give me more.

*** But T4L you might be saying, why wouldn't you just stop being a caustic bitch and remain silent when people name themselves Wicker Basket, The Dreamcatchers or GLBLWRMNG? Well, I feel it is basically my most important duty to let these people know that they are stupid and so is their Amish clubwear. True story a couple walked by me in an airport and I thought they were straight up Mennonites, but then I saw a Rag and Bone garment bag. Boom.

^^^Wow I listened to Pale to double check and they sound nothing alike . Oops.

Paolo Nutini - One Day

3/23/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Does anyone remember Paolo Nutini? He was the guy who sang that song "New Shoes" around my middle school years. While catchy and appealing to an 8th grader, time taught me that song was pretty dumb. Excellent for a mediocre romantic comedy soundtrack but ultimately terrible for my iPod. But t4L, you are probably saying, why are you being mean to Mr. Nutini? Ok people, I am saying all of this because I was fucking floored when I heard this. I literally don't believe this song came from his lips. Otis Redding has been resurrected. Seriously prepare to be taken on a rollercoaster of emotion. "One Day" starts off pretty casual, and all of a sudden Paolo Nutini is wailing and you are like WHAT WENT WRONG IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP SIR?!?! I almost cried he conveys emotion so well. Ok that's a lie but if my heart wasn't made of stone I would have. It is the most soulful thing to be posted on T4L to date, that's for sure. Listen and worship. Also this song came out last September sry.

Years & Years - Worship

3/23/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Well, there's not really much to say here. This is the 5th song we've written up by these bitches. We obviously hate them. Things I have to say: the Backstreet Boys are really resurrected in this one. A boy band vibe is always strong is their material but "Worship" is specifically reminding me of Nick Carter & the less famous/uglier ones.*** It's amazing. I know I've said it before but I really would like to see Y&Y succeed in America. I saw them in concert at the end of January and they were so cute and excited. The one who sings lead vocals was wearing a lax pinnie. Which like, points deducted, but also it was refreshing to see a teen singer not wearing a fucking fedora or his pants around his ankles (Styles and Bieber IM TALKING ABOUT YOU). Also his voice sounded exactly the same as it does on recording. They've only released an EP as of now but I hope we get an album this year. Love you boys!!

**just kidding Brian was obviously my favorite.

Big Data - Get Some Freedom (ft. Dragonette)

3/22/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Ohhhh I'm digging this. Although I can literally picture the car commercial it will inevitably end up in. My $$$ is on Dodge, although Marian Hill did pop up in a Taco Bell one*** and that was a REAL plot twist to me so what do I know. Ultimately tho, the combo of rock and pop is too sweet for me to fret about it. I am familiar with Dragonette as 1/2 of the duo that brought I JUST CAME TO SAY HELLO to the world, and Big Data only peripherally. I find it odd that Dragonette is getting the featuring credit, because it's pretty much her song. B.G. is bringing "We couldn't afford the Black Keys" to the mix, but that's it. That is by no means an insult. They are great support. The heavy guitar sounds sooo good w sugary vocals. Gwen Stefani wishes she did this. I wish more polar opposite musical acts did collabs. Wishlist: Shakira & Daft Punk, Adele & the Xx, Rihanna/Kanye & Paul McCartney.. oh wait. teehee!!

*** Dear Marian Hill,

Really?!?!?!? Actually they probably paid you my years salary for that so I say good 4 you.

Beat Connection - Illusion

3/22/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Damn, who knew there was more than one person in Beat Connection!? I'm not really sure why I thought this was a solo project. Lol. Good story. Well the point is, "Further Out" was a big song in my life 3 years ago, and then I forgot about them. When I saw they were back, I was excited. Boom, big story #2 in this post. "Illusion" actually sounds like a different band. The vibe is more melancholy. Magnifying my suicide Sunday blues tenfold right now. Great job boys!! I think it could definitely close out a sad episode of Girls. There's also something very vaguely r&b to the vocals. In case you were wondering, my favorite part of the song = the middle. I love the guitar, and the backing vocals are so subtle that I thought I was imagining them. I love when my songs make me feel schizophrenic. In sum, I approve the new Beat Connection music. I'm sure they're super relieved.


Max & The Moon - Harps

3/22/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

New alt music!! Whatever "alt" means. That's such a stupid term. Like hi, pretty much everything is alt besides Bruno Mars. Some dumbass said this sounds like M83. False.*** If I were going to make comparisons, I would say Mansions on the Moon with the vocals of Guster. I'm feeling pretty specific today. Also, whoever sings background could be a Shins impersonator. Seriously Moon, think about it. You know, for if this band doesn't work out. But I hope you do guys, because I'm majorly digging this. "Harps" is the first I've heard of these gentlemen, who I assumed were Australian but turned out to be California people. I guess sunshine curates a similar sound regardless of hemisphere. Ahh sunshine, I long for you. Also I love the piano!! I will be on the lookout for more boys.

***Ok maybe a little bit accurate. Maybe I'm jealous Indie Shuffle gets to be on Hype Machine and I don't.

Grimes - REALiTi & Entropy

3/22/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

If someone who actually knows Grimes reads this (which is doubtful, seeing as I'm pretty sure she's only friends w fairies), plz go check on her. I am concerned that she's going a little bit crazy. Let me explain: She has gone on various social media outlets defending her new work while simultaneously saying that it is unpolished. Or claiming that it is not going to be on her new album altogether. Basically, she's saying, THIS IS THE NEW ME!! JK, ITS NOT!! It's kind of schitzo. And honestly, I get it. I think she's terrified of hipster backlash. When your entire fanbase decides you aren't weird enough for them, that's kind of the kiss of death for your career. And as they say**, once u go commerical, you are exiled from Bushwick. NEVER 2 RETURN. But Grimes, I am here to reassure you to not be afraid. Your new music is so good. For real, both of these songs rock. I'm going to say I like "REALiTi" better, but that's only because science terms make me anxious. I swear to god I still have nightmares about 11th grade chemistry. Fuck science !! -Channing Tatum 

***No one says this but they should

The Griswolds- Beware the Dog (Autograf Remix)

3/19/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

Press play and scroll down for giphy goodness!

Ultimately this is a fun, hEpPy song for simple minded people. And what else do simple minded, fun-loving people like? GIFs o dogs of course! My one issue with this song is the title "Beware the Dog". Cause like yes, you should beware some dogs.

Like beware any dog who eyes baby formula with such crazy zeal:

or who models their personal grooming after Parisian mimes:

And if you're using ur bad-boy, image to attract girls (pointer: being on this blog, maybe the girliest of music blogs out there, is not helping you cultivate that rough-n-tough James Dean look in ur eye), then beware the dog that has wayyyyy more street cred than you:

And everyone should beware the dogs that work out for fun (actually, beware the HUMANS who claim they work out for fun too. They are lying to you and most likely to themselves as well)

And stay out of the way of any dog who hogs the remote like this mean-muggin' mutt.

But, ultimately, dogs are amazing, cute, silly, loyal creatures and we rarely need to "beware them". Like I really don't think you have to worry about this pup whose thoroughly enjoying his first trip to the park:

 Or the puppy version of the Olsen twins circa 1994 (Michelle Tanner is still my attitude idol):

And I don't really think you need to "beware" of a dog who can't even stay up past his bedtime:

Or one who can't even fend off against 2 kitties:

So, whether you have a Kujo-styled K9 in your life or just a Doug-from-Up doofus of a dog, ur day just got infinitely better because of this puppy-palooza of a post. Ur welcome.

Tove Lo- Not on Drugs (The Knocks Remix)

3/16/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

Press play and scroll down for giphy goodness:

Mondays can be rough

You had just adjusted to your weekend schedule

Aaaaaand all of a sudden you're expected to wake up before the sun for 5 DAYS of staring at Excel and having co-workers spoil the previous night of TV (sry you didn't get the chance to watch it live because you actually HAVE A LIFE fell asleep eating dinner a hot pocket)

However, let you're Monday get infinitely better by pressing play on this "Not on Drugs" remix. Sure at first we're all like "come on, Tove Lo, believing the girl who wrote "Habits" isn't on drugs is like believing this girl thinks "Molly" is just an American girl doll

But I get Tove's hesitation to reveal her true party girl ways. PPL on the internet are uber mean about an alcohol-abusing pop princess (see Britney, Miley, Ke$ha, etc.) , and it's like

And Tove handles the haters the was all stars should: by DGAFing all the way from Sweden to L.A. and finding a big, fat record label to record her "sluttttttbagggggggg*" songs

*YouTube commenters favorite adjective (right down to the number of "t"s and "g"s) to describe my homegirl Tove

Ultimately, thank gawwwwwd the Swedish songstress is a success seeing as we get amazing, all-too-danceable remixes like this or Gryffin's 'Talking Body" remix. Whether your social calendar is busier than someone with the charisma and sexual appetite of Donna Meagle

Or you're someone who makes any excuse to stay inside with their BF Netflix account

This track is sure to get you up and dancing like this after-me-lucky-charms mo' fo'

Cold War Kids - First

3/10/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

My roommates hate me because I can't stop playing this. It's so good you guys. Let's all thank Cameron Crowe and his new movie trailer Aloha for bringing this to mainstream America.*** Ok "mainstream America" prob an overstatement. Bradley Cooper's indie movie is not the Big Bang Theory. But ultimately I wish this song to be heard by everyone. It sort of reminds me of Imagine Dragons. If they were less....bleh. (Imagine Dragons is the next Nickelback people. You heard it here first.) I would also like to say that Nathan Willett has a fantastic voice for rock music. It's got bite but is simultaneously pleasing to my ears. Alright just go buy the album already!!! Cold War Kids released their 5th in October, and I feel it has been criminally ignored. Actually I think this is kind of the story of their career. Who do I have to kill to get these bitches on the radio!? Guys, call me. I want to make u stars. I can definitely do this. I MEAN I HAVE 100 FACEBOOK FOLLOWERS.

**PSA: my opinion of that movie is that it is going to be terrible. Almost Famous was your peak sir. Awk. A Golden God you are not.

The Chainsmokers - Let You Go (ft. Great Good Fine Ok)

3/09/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Great Good Fine Ok is probably the fucking dumbest band name I have ever heard. Literally topping my list as the worst. And in a world where vowels have become irrelevant in band names, that is a tricky feat to accomplish. So congrats gentlemen. I thought you were Ok Go for most of your career. BUT. even so, I have to compliment the new tune you have churned out w EDM powershow the Chainsmokers. #Selfie is dumb but Kanye was pretty brilliant. This one is somewhere in between. The use of Great Good Fine Ok is the best thing about "Let You Go."The uptempo production suits their falsetto vocals really well. Is this song crazy innovative? Is it going to be something I listen to 3 months from now? Naaaaahhhh. But it's fun and catchy, and when I see the Chainsmokers in 2 months I will probably drunkenly scream with glee when it comes on. Also those people look shockingly non-Euro for being DJs. Like, did you guys major in English at Brown?

FRANKIE- New Obsession

3/09/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

FRANKIE asks to be your "New Obsession" in her most recent track. Although if you weren't already obsessed with her after "Problems, Problems" then you're either crazy or Helen Keller status and can't hear her unique brand of sugar-pop. If your case is the latter, then i'm like really confused what you're doing on a music blog but w/e. I also just LOVE songs that make you feel wayyyy cooler than you actually are (ex. this song, All Hands on Deck, basically any Missy Elliot track). "New Obsession" makes me feel like I'm cruising down a sun-kissed highway in my baby blue convertible with the Na'vi chick from Avatar and Pennsatucky -- aka it makes me feel like B.Spears in her film debut "Crossroads".

But in all seriousness, this song is catchy AF and will make you feel as cool as cats wearing sunglasses.

FRANKIE's unique combo of outer-space synth and summertime production quality create the ultimate track for you and your homegirls to dance and rip vodka shots to. Her voice has just the right amount of whine in it for a pop-star and the 90's-influence really shines through in the best way possible. I also  kind of imagine Taylor Swift breaking into the chorus of this song when on first dates. Just being like wayyyy too forward and self-centered for an initial hang. Too bad she won't be going on any first dates for a while because she HAS A BOYFRIEND. That's right folks! You heard it here first that Taylor Swift is secretly dating one of the members of The 1975. I'll be available at tunes4loons.email@gmail.com for when the news leaks and you want to tell me "you were right" (my favorite phrase in the English language, just ask my BF). 

Sounds Like: Katelyn Tarver, Natalia Kills, Catey Shaw (vocally)