6/27/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

WELCOME TO THIS SUMMER'S OCTAHATE EVERYONE! It's got power-house drums, an infectious chorus and the same type of bold, soaring vocals as Ms. Weaver's 2k14 summer jam. These two pop princess even have a picture together! And just by looking at the picture I can tell they are both wayyyyy too cool for t4L (not a hard feat, but still). Ryn and FLETCHER are def the type of girls who can hold their liquor and weed, no matter how many hipster whiskey drinks and perfectly-rolled joints they consume. I, on the other hand, down 7 Svedka shots and take half-a-hit of MJ and then shriek at the club's DJ either until he plays the Charlie's Angels Soundtrack like I asked or until I lose balance on my wedges & eat shit mid-request (I would say about 95% of the time the latter happens. DJs either really hate the music from Charlie's Angels or they really hate basic, drunk girls because they NVR respond well to my suggestions... again I think it's the latter because how DA FUQ could you hate the Charlie's Angels CD??).

I love everything about this fem-fatale summer jam from the attitude of the chanting vocals to the quirkiness of the choral banjo. The rumbling drums give off a tribal, concrete-jungle feel perfect for any outdoor festivity and, honestly, you're doing a disservice to your friends if you don't put this on your "Ladies be Pregaming" playlist for the weekend. The anthemic chorus comes around and I automatically feel connected and bonded to all my homegirls out there (even that one bitch who manages to look flawless after SoulCycle). Like there's a reason Ocean's Eleven didn't star 11 women: it's because it's unrealistic. IRL, a female Ocean's Eleven wouldn't work because 3 of them would keep breaking off to talk shit and about the other 8*. But this song has the ability to change those dynamics forever and unite the feminine masses! Then maybe "Ocean's Eleven: No Boys Allowed**" could actually be a thing! Then my dream to see Kristen Wiig, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Melissa McCarthy and Amy Poehler all interact in one movie could be a reality!! (otherwise I think i'm SOL. Let's be honest, no other mainstream movie is gonna have 7 strong female roles #fucktheindustry #girlsrule #boysdrool #filmshouldreflectthat)

* fuckyeah, that was a John Mullaney reference #newintown

**like 95% that would be the cheesy title chosen by the dick-head producers