t4L in a Nutshell- August 2015

8/31/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments

 

OMMITTED DITTIES 

('cause we can't blog every amazzzzing song we stumble upon. 
It's summer, we have vacations to go on Bachelor in Paradise to watch.)

Deorro- I Can Be Somebody (ft. Erin McCarley)
when that house piano drops and I realize this is gonna be a killer dance jam, I was like:



Painted Palms- Refractor


Like a more psychedelic Shins. But also, whenever I hear this band name it just reminds me how badly I want to attend an India-destination wedding #oddlyspecificpipedreams. My midget extremities would look gr8 with henna (a.k.a. "painted palms").


Kaskade- We Don't Stop


This song was 1:30 into its groove before I figured out that this was not "Bad Boy " Cascade:



Teischa- Couldn't Care Less

This girl is so not a Monica #lucky #whoreallywants2beMon:



Empress Of- How Do You Do It

8/31/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


I labelled this as 'future beach party'. Just seemed right, yah know? "How Do You Do It" is the newest track from Lorely Rodriguez and it's a jam and a half, y'alllll! It's just so fun and synthetic! Like ombre tights!!* I love everything about this track from the first ominous synth hit to the electronic wailings fading out at the end. These denouementic sounds can most accurately be described as what it probably sounds like to listen to a trumpet whilst you are on acid. But I dig mucho! Overall, t4L's really pumped for what is next to come from this NYC lady! Just fingers crossed that she doesn't pull another Elohim**, amiright? Although her one-hit-wonder status is pending, I guess it doesn't really matter if I never hear from this girl again because "How Do You Do It" is a truly such a gem. It sounds like Susanne Sundfør if Susanne Sundfør didn't always sound clinically depressed. Like if our favorite^ Swede started popping a lexapo the size of a walnut every day and journeyed to a tropical island #weirdbuttrue. As confusing as that comparison was, just trust me, Lorely, that is some high^^ praise from t4L; Ms. Sundfør is a crooning, Nordic KWEEEN in our eyes (aka she is Elsa from Frozen).


*did u enjoy that word play with the adjective and noun forms of synthetic?? I did! I liked it so much that I made a sidebar out of it #h8rsgunnah8h8h8h8

**WHAT DA FUQ WAS "XANAX", HOMEGIRL?? "She Talks Too Much" had so so SO much promise and then Xanax is like an iPhone4 photo: distorted and not as good as you expected.

^maybe that's an overstatement. ABBA is also Scadanavian and they have both the amazing sound and the juicy drama. Call me when u sleep with ur guitarist's evil twin bro or something, Susanne, and we'll talk...

^^again, wordplay ; ) . I fucking love it. Or I'm just too stoned -___-


*RELEASE* RKCB - Daydreaming

8/30/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Sometimes, the title of a song exactly matches how it sounds. Consider J-Kwon's "Tipsy." When that song came out I was like 11, and I still felt like a blacked out sorority bitch when that played. Adele's "Tired" is another one. When I hear her exhausted & sad wail I feel like I swallowed a bottle of Ambien. "Daydreaming," the delightful new track from LA's RKCB, definitely lives up to it's name. Who isn't carried away on a cloud of spaced out bliss when they hear this?! NO ONE THAT'S WHO. The synths are smooth, the vocals are smoother. This is the music James Blake would make if he wasn't afraid of being commercial. I mean that with the highest compliments. It's easy to be artsy, it's harder to produce something people want to listen to on repeat. That's my fancy way of saying I respect Miley Cyrus over Tom Waits.*** Anyways, the point is: "Daydreaming" is a prime slice of ambiance, and everyone should listen to it. Warning though: you could come out of a blackout at the conclusion of this song believing you are sailing around the Mediterranean, only to find you are sitting in a cubicle with cold Hale & Hearty soup on your keyboard. Hypothetically.


***BOOM, did smoke come out of anyone's ears over that!? I will admit this is maybe too controversial a statement. Tom Waits is like the ultimate hipster deity. But guys, I don't get it. He sounds like he swallowed Drain-O and eats acid with his Cheerios.



Zak Abel - Say Sumthing

8/30/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Oh yeahhhh. Everything about this kid screams British. I'm so confident that I'm not even looking it up*** I want to say his vocals are slightly Sam Smith-like, but that's a lazy comparison. Maybe a little John Legend? What I'm trying to say is: nice vocal range. Rich tone. The drums are gloriously 80s. In as inoffensive way as possible, (which means I'm about to say something offensive, I urge you to walk away if you aren't fun at parties) I thought this kid was black. Turns out, he is Addams Family white. I guess situations like this are how the Voice was born. Susan Boyle also probably contributed to the Voice. Okay officially getting off track, so we're going to bring it back to Zak (rhyming is one of my many talents). "Say Sumthing" is a perfect radio friendly banger for the U.K. Big chorus, big vocals, big emotion. I sense a hit. Not in the U.S though, because here in America, we only want to hear something on the radio if it's remixed to the high heavens. It must also include bleeped lyrics about bitches and fucking. Or be by Justin Bieber. We're very cultured.


***I know this is super unprofesh. Imagine if you did that at any job. "Scalpel nurse! I feel great about performing this c-section, who needs instructions or medical school!?" But this is an amateur music blog, where the worst that can happen if you fuck up is be emotionally beaten on Twitter. Or worse, no one could read it. If a tree that is factually incorrect falls in the Internet, does it make a sound?

Pierre Stemmett- Sleep Anthem

8/30/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


WOW WEEEEEE WOW! By far my favorite find this month. First off, "Sleep Anthem" has the cutest little nugget I've EVER seen in the cover art. If that was you as a child, Pierre, u were freaking adorable and ur shirt was fly AF even in Sepia. Veering to the audio, everything about this hidden gem of a track delights me even more than this gif (a HARD feat, that thing is like the definition of entertainment in my mind). I predict a "Cheerleader"-style trajectory for Pierre Stemmett's up-beat, infectious ditty: aka I will be obsessed with it and get sick of it. Then, 3 months later, it will be fucking EVERYWHERE and frat bros will rage to it on their X-mas vacations in Cabo. "Sleep Anthem" is just such a jubilant song, that it subconsciously make you feel better than you actually are when you listen to it (and we all know frat-boys dig that shit like it's crushed-up adderall). This song transports me to that happy, beach-y place like I'm Kimmi Schmidt tearing up a Nick-Kroll-headed-session SoulCycle:


Honestly, that gif is so spot-on with representing my entire array of feelings towards this amazing, indie jam, that I have nothing more to add. It's happy and tropical. Click play or 4ever be on our shit list. t4L, OUT!

Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean?

8/30/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments



How I discovered this song was through my 7:30am Soul Cycle class on Saturday. Yes, this is pitiful and embarrassing. You may even be saying, "Tunes 4 Loons, that is expensive exercise class for dumb bitches who use phrases such as "i can't even" and "follow ur bliss" What the fuck are you doing there?!" Well, I know this may be shocking to some of you, but I am a dumb bitch. And while I want to harm Soul Cycle instructors as much as jaded hipsters for their Scientology-like cheerleader tactics, they make exercise feel like a fucking nightclub. So I'm not apologizing for going. AND the music is amazing. It's how I became acquainted with this song.
Back to this song, it's probably the best Bieber song to date. To quote the Itunes view in it's entirety: "More cool "Where Are You Now" vibes from Justin."**** Although I felt pretty WTF about the casual brevity of that, it is accurate. There are Kygo leprechaun vibes happening in the instrumental, and his voice sounds great. Props to whoever came up with that album artwork. Cheeky mugshot parody definitely the way to go here.

Lastly, the lyrics are also kind of amazing. Maybe I have been watching too many Amy Schumer sketches on gender politics, but I cannot help but think of literally every girl when I hear this song. Exhibit A: "When you don't want me to move / But you tell me to go / What do you mean / Don't know if you're happy / Or complaining" It's like Bieber is channeling the confusion of every man in universe over their GF's behavior. I may be complaining about your ugly cargo shorts, but that doesn't mean I'm mad bro. Or like, if I'm telling you that I want you to stay and watch Netflix, that actually means I'm enraged that you didn't invite me to your sister's birthday party. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW THIS. Or maybe Selena Gomez is just a psycho.


***I actually spit out my coffee when I saw that. Itunes, are you becoming Buzzfeed? I hope to see some GIF reviews in the coming months. Perhaps you could tell us how we should feel about JLo's new single through Grumpy Cat memes?




Kwamie Liv - Pleasure This Pain (ft. Angel Haze)

8/30/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Kwamie, you are so pretty. You are very blessed that you look like a super model, because that name would be impossible to pull off if you were anything besides a 10. If I was named Kwamie, people would probably throw rocks at me and yell "troll in the dungeon." But enough about me, let us discuss this beautiful collab with Angel Haze. This is great. You guys compliment each other really well, and the laid back production lets the vocals breatheeee. The bass sounds like a heartbeat, which feels intimate and appropriate. They are singing about their baggage!! ("Can you love me despite the cracks??") Which, props to Kwamie and Angel Haze for being mysterious about what's wrong with them. If I was steering the discussion on this song, half the lyrics would be about drunkenly peeing on my floor^^^ and having no soul. To comment on the more famous person on this song, I've concluded Angel Haze works best in a more emotionally exposed setting. While I also love her "possibly might set you on fire" delivery (aka absolute banger I Own It) last year's "Candles" was my favorite.


^^^it only counts if you remember it. 

Alessia Cara- Seventeen

8/28/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Well, Alessia picks a stellar age to sing about. She shares the number with absolute music KWEEEEENS Stevie Nicks and ABBA*!! Hallowed company, homegirl. Nice choice. Alessia's newest single basically captures the essence of what it's like to be seventeen (minus the 100 thousand hours of college apps**.) That floating, minimal hook is perfection and Ms. Cara's rapsy vocals and ambient harmonies ain't bad either. Plus that beating-heart backbeat makes me feel like I'm watching that Denny and Izzy scene from Grey's Anatomy all over again (DON'T EVEN PRETEND THAT YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY THE MOMENT TO WHICH I'M REFERRING). I feel like "Seventeen" would play at the end of like a shitty Disney Channel remake of "Pretty in Pink". That's not meant as an insult to u, Alessia, i swear! I mean, don't get me wrong, the movie is shitty, like Go Figure shitty, but your song is the silver lining and shining star of the "film". (aka u are the Kristi Yamuguchi cameo equivalent.) For anyone who bore with me thru that entire metaphor #godblessyou #ugetme #ily.


*Coincidentally both of these acts had crazy CRAZY behind-the-scenes drama. So what's ur dark secret, Alessia?? Did you sleep with the grandpa of ur drummer? Are u addicted to snorting laundry detergent? There must be something, there's already a pattern going with ppl who wanna go back to being 17 here......

**why do all songwriters omit this grueling task every seventeen year old goes through? Can I get a soulful ballad about the emotional, inner-turmoil that occurs when you've guessed four D's in a row on an SAT? up in hereeee!?! pLz & thanku! #23 #andstillbitter.

Foxes- Feet Don't Fail Me Now

8/27/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


T4L TWO-4-ONE TODAYYY #blessed!! Not only does Foxes release the best pop-indie single of the week but the video that accompanies it also fucking rocks. It's honestly the the cutest damn thing I've seen since "Great Job Pooping". It's like Billy Elliot meets Skins*. aka a Maxie episode...if he were straight...aka MY WISH (and Anwar's nightmare lol. Jk, but to borrow an overly-used phrase from tumblr, I 'ship them mucho.) However, this song doesn't even need a rocking music video, it's aural effects alone propel me into #hipsterheaven**. There's everything I love in a track: saccharine-almost-eerie female vocals, classic British powerhouse drums, and a piano-heavy layer underneath it all to get you on your feet. I also love the hint of disco in the verses, it's like ABBA meets the 2000's.

"Feet Don't Fail Me Now" is just another example of how the UK is sooooo much better at music than the US. See here, in the US, we are spread thin across too many large-scale entertainment fields to keep up with. We are constantly striving to stay at the top of the film, music, fashion and theater industries. This is how we end up with things like Gigli, Meghan Trainor, the Kardashian Kollection, and Spiderman the Musical respectively. The UK, on the otherhand, mastered music in the 60's and 70's. They produced The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Queen (honestly this list could go on longer than that movie from "Don't Stop Believin'") and Queen Ellie was probably just like "fuck it, why fix what's broken? Let's just focus on this." And tah-dah! 60+ years of superior music. Follow suit, America! Ditch the blockbusters and invest in the indie bands of the nation! Alas, I know our country will never achieve a feat this cool. We'll be lucky to escape 2016 without Donald Trump holding our nuclear codes #pray4uspLz.


*UK version #fuckingDUH. I like to pretend the cheap, US imitation never happened.

**I imagine I would be greeted at the gates by Wes Anderson and Bjork.

Penthouse Penthouse - '69 Camero (ft. Bobby Saint)

8/27/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Word to the wise: never google "Penthouse Penthouse" Unless that's what you're looking for. I wasn't, and my life is ruined. Only joking guys!! I can totally handle some big breasted ladies. Let's just pray there is never a band called "Double Penetration." Anyways, this song is like the much cooler version of "Night Moves." No lie, I thought Bob Seger was sexy shit until I heard this. Now I am convinced he was in the Mathletes. Let me explain. First of all, Bobby Saint's vocals are smooth as fuck. A real throwback to the true male R&B singers of the 90s. I can't name any, but I know that there were like, a lot of them. Second, the use of '69 as a sexual inneundo is very effective here. 99.9% of the time any mention of 69ing is disgusting and not at all seductive. But the fact that it doubles as the year of make for the Camaro works very well. Although it does make me think, if Bobby Saint picked me up in a car made in 1969 we would probably drive everywhere at 35 mph. Which is not sexy. But also it would probably break down and we would have to pass the time by banging. Mm interesting. Well played Penthouse Penthouse.






TEA - Syrup

8/26/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


It took me a long time to figure out whether this girl's name was Tea or Syrup. lol. #indieproblems. But when I finally did, my world became brighter, because Tea rules you guys. "Syrup" is a floaty electronic pop slice. I want to eat it, and not just because the title forces me to think of pancakes and bacon. The vocals are beautiful. I feel like I'm on a cloud within the first 30 seconds. The best part though, is the fact this song can serve as a companion piece to Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." Don't be fooled by the delicate delivery, Tea is singing about straight up filth in this song. Take for example, the lyrics: "Heard a scream out / then I run run run run / Saw you fucking that girl next door / spread eagle on the kitchen floor...you said you loved me / but you lied" Immediately I thought, omg Tea is Shaggy's wronged girlfriend from the year 2000. Don't believe me? EXHIBIT A (in case if by some freak occurrence you've forgotten the lyrics) : "Honey came in and she caught me red-handed / Creepin with the girl next door / Picture this we were both butt naked / Banging on the bathroom  kitchen floor." Yeah. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.



Will Joseph Cook - Hearse

8/26/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

A love letter to Will Joseph Cook --

William. Where do I begin? Your music is like the boy next door, in that I didn't realize what was right in front of me for so long. I hearted "Streets of Paris" and "Beach" on Hype Machine, but chose to blog EDM Avril Lavigne covers instead.^^^ With newest release "Hearse," I can no longer ignore how good your material is. The "tringle"*** of soulful tunes you have brought into the world brings me joy. Your voice is spun of gold, melancholy, and good beer. Speaking of joy (my transitions are amazing rite), there doesn't seem to be any in "Hearse." I mean, things didn't seem so great from the title, but the lyrics suggest some shit that makes Terms of Endearment look like Superbad. What I'm trying to say is it sounds like Will broke up with his GF at her relative's funeral. I could be wrong? I usually am. But let us ponder these lyrics: "I booked the hearse ....it's probably not what you wanted / not what you needed / But baby I'm leaving" Unless your girlfriend was Casey Anthony, I'm not sure if that's okay. But honestly, even if you did that Will, I don't really care. Because your music is amazing, and makes me sad in a good way. Keep that shit up.

xoxoxox, Tunes 4 Loons




^^^actually I never got around to that one either. I'm very lazy.


**how Jojo referred to the three songs she just released. Since she's the only "artist" we've ever interviewed for this blog I feel like we need to adopt her vernacular.





LIVE! Review: Billboard Festival 2015- Day #2

8/24/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Hello and welcome to the writeup of the weirdest musical event ever. A couple of opening thoughts before we launch in. I got to go free through work. I suspect it is because Billboard apparently only moved 40% of the tickets. Awk. So we forced ourselves to go because we figured, you know, IT WAS FREE. Let it be known there was no booze. I guess I was stupid that I didn't know this about Jones Beach. And maybe I am making too big a deal of this, but if I am going to be in a mosh pit of screaming 14 year olds at a Nicki Minaj concert, at minimum I require a slight buzz. This was denied to me, and thus I hate Billboard forever.*** The day was pretty hilarious though. Notes below:

**Jk, free shit rules.


CHAINSMOKERS


Good. Better than when I saw them back in April. Actually they could have been amazing then, but I was dying of the plague at the show. Can you imagine anything more horrifying than a sick person at a rave? They play a remix of "Habits" that goes over really well. Drew and Alex are also filled with inspirational messages: "This next song is about being whoever the fuck you want to be!!" ...but what if I'm an entitled asshole? There's room for Caitlyn, but is there room for the girl who steals beer from work?^^^

^^^if anyone I work with reads this (lol), I am just kidding. I stole 1 beer. 1 time. DON'T FIRE ME.



MISTERWIVES


Seems mad the crowd isn't more enthused. This is what you get when it's 90 degrees and most of the audience is biding their time till Biebs. They insist they are from Queens but I swear to God this girl has a British accent. To close, they play an inspired and weird cover of "Uptown Funk." Mandy Lee's voice is raspy and perfect. I'm with it until they start scatting. Really don't need the vocals trilled out. It sounds like Christina Aguilera singing the National Anthem.



A TALE FROM INTERMISSION

(this is not a band, this is where I will describe what happened while we sat around and waited for Kygo): We posted up in the upper balcony and proceeded to watch a poor Live Nation employee police obnoxious teenage girls for an hour. Physically, she resembled Mrs. Trunchbull, but she possessed the kindness of Buddy the Elf. Just kidding. She was as aggravated as I imagine Kanye would be at a meet and greet. I cannot blame her. Thank you for your service. I will forever remember your neon hair scrunchie.



KYGO


Is playing to a seated venue. Sooo basically playing dance music to people who could hypothetically be in wheelchairs. I can also tell you the Ed Sheeran cover is not going over very wel--JK BLUE CONFETTI JUST SHOT EVERYWHERE AND FIERY FLAMES AHHH!!!! Pyrotechnics #onfleek.  He plays a remix of Reflections and it gets a much better reaction than 40 minutes ago. Misterwives prob so pissed. Honestly every song goes down well. The ultimate power move is playing "Don't Stop Believing." The people of Long Island were practically foaming at the mouth they were so psyched. Also I need to talk about how the hottest couple I've ever seen were making out non-stop at this concert, and it was the ultimate distractor. One million percent they were Calvin Klein models. I wanted to dismiss the entire crowd so I could direct their sex tape.


NICKI MINAJ


Nicki is 20 minutes late and officially on our shit list. I'm the only one who's allowed to be late to anything Nicki!!! Ultimately comes out 30 minutes late and all is forgiven. She's unrealllll. Am I at a burlesque show? In 5 minutes, I have seen more of Nicki's ass than I have seen of my own in my entire life. Love it. Except for when she starts humping her backup dancers and then I feel uncomfortable. For real though, her diva attitude is off the charts, and I am so impressed. That level of commitment to selling the shit out of yourself needs to be lauded. That's how it's done Swifty. There is a weird moment where she drops the mic & walks off stage...but all is forgotten in the final 4 songs. Superbass. Hey Mama. Pound the Alarm. Starships. I have never seen a crowd that crazy. BOW DOWN BITCHES.



RYN WEAVER


I love that this photo looks like it was taken on a Polaroid in 1993. I feel like Ryn would approve and, tbh, I care abt that. Ugh, I felt really bad for Ryn Weaver because everyone went to Skrillex. Like everyone. She had amazing commentary about it though. "These are all people who actually give a fuck about music." You guys, I smell a Twitter war!!** Shout-out to the kind soul who gave me a pair of earplugs. Regarding Ms. Weaver, veryyy different from what I expected. Carried herself like Courtney Love. I can't be totally sure, because I'm born in 91 and never witnessed Mrs. Kurt Cobain in action, but Youtube seems to support me. Also, Ryn's voice sounded really good. Had a lot of weight. She stopped mid-set to discuss her grandfather who died and how hard it is to not make mistakes on tour. WE SUPPORT UR MESSAGE OF LOVE RYN.

**Jk they're friends, I'm just trying to troll the internet.


To wrap up, here are some fashion trends we took in:

- Chokers are officially back. Not ironically. Let us weep.

- a girl wearing a t-shirt with the slogan: "Cute...and pyscho!" WHERE CAN I PURCHASE THIS.

- a 300 pound man wearing a t-shirt that said "Too big to fail." The ultimate trolling.


Nathaniel Ratecliff & The Night Sweats- S.O.B.

8/24/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


I honestly thought until about .25 seconds ago that Nathaniel Ratecliff was a suave, African-American fellow who always performed with perfectly-coiffed hair and in an odd-but-somehow-stylish-AF 3-piece suit. Basically I thought Mr. Ratecliff was like James Brown's long-lost son twice removed. False. This is not the case. Instead, when I googled "Nathaniel Ratecliff" I was faced with a man who looks like he could play The Hound's money-obsessed, wine-guzzling cousin in G.o.T. And, although this picture will maybe DEFINITELY haunt my dreams, Nate has dope facial hair in every other picture I can find of him on the internet so he officially has my approval. However, he could have been, like, Ted Bundy reincarnated and we probably still would have approved of this guy just because of this gem of a track. "S.O.B." has got the essence of soul, blues, rock, gospel and folk all wrapped into one undeniably catchy jam*. Let's just say if the New Music Friday playlist on Spotify was actually the menu of a fine-dining establishment, "S.O.B." would be the jambalaya dish that everyone fucking loves. Weird analogy, but true nonetheless.

*Plus it has horns and claps! Two of my top 3 favorite quirky additions to a song! The third in that triumvirate being the steel drum #leduh #theMOSTunderratedofall

The Neighbourhood- R.I.P. 2 My Youth

8/21/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


The Neighbourhood's stuff always has killer shelf appeal*. First they released their 2013 perfectly-entitled "Sweater Weather" not to mention that they also basically called the whole "i can't even" obsession b4 it happened #trndsttrs. now they have practically taken the words right out of my mouth. "R.I.P. 2 My Youth" should be made into T-shirts. Post-grads would buy them out faster than Rihanna goes from 0 to 60. Idk how really to describe this track. kind of like mid-2000's-punk-surf-rock.... on a little bit of acid. Or like that is played through a speaker turned up slightly too loud?? Whatever it's exact genre, I dig. It's like Frank Ocean meets "The O.C." Soundtrack. And if that sentence alone isn't the ultimate #playbuttonbait then ur worse than Marissa Cooper.


*or wutever the 2015 version of this phrase now that no one buys music in stores any more is. Screen appeal? Idk, insert correct term b4 asterisk pLz & thank you.

The Hood Internet- Classic Lean (Jidenna feat. Kendrick Lamar x Major Lazer & DJ Snake)

8/20/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Welcome 2 the 2015 version of the Notorious B.I.G. "Party in the USA" rework. If that sentence alone didn't have you clicking play, then you str8 up have no soul (or u are the ghost of Biggie Smalls...... I don't think legit rappers like Biggie and 2pac would be like super happy to hear their songs mixed with white-girl-pop). "Classic Lean" rides that fine line between sampling and remixing one of the top 3 songs of the summer (not that we're biased or anything). Also interesting that no credit is given to MØ in the song info. Weird, but also I guess her voice is nonexistent here. Although, honestly, MØ confuses me so much (Nike or Adidas, MØ?!? Pick a side, woman! We ALL have) that I thought those like squeaky-wheel whines during the "chorus" may have been the result of the Scandinavian songstress. U may laugh that I though a human could sound so similar to a baby chipmunk being tickled but those homegirls from the Nordic region are capable of some vocally-vagarious feats (i.e. Susanne Sundfør who baffles me more than America's obsession with Chrissy Teigen). Long story short, thank u muchly for this track, The Hood Internet. Although I am not even close to being tired of the original, I can now hear the infectious "Lean On" beat twice on my commute to work without having to quit out of the game I'm playing on the subway to press the repeat button #1stworldproblemSOLVED #blessed).

Steven A. Clark- Can't Have

8/20/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Idk what I am more jealous of. Steven A. Clark's velvety vocals or his killer hat collection. I haven't seen such a solid array of stylish headpieces since Gossip Girl Season 4. Also, pretty sure we're the first fans to make a "Steven A. Clark Cranial Fashion" collage but we like to keep it OG here at t4L. (And it doesn't get more "original gangster" than a photo collage, amiright???) "Can't Have" comes from the Miami native's debut album "The Lonely Roller" which drops in a month. However, although I am uber excited for this release, I'm a little confused at the title of his album: does Steven A. Clark feel particularly isolated whilst rolling joints? Is he looking for a buddy to blaze with? If so, where's the app, I'll apply RN! Although my joint-rolling abilities maybe sub-par, my joint-smoking abilities are off the fucking charts.

The lingering guitar, the symphonic strings, and Clark's top-notch vocals all combine to form the perfect late-summer jam to groove to. And I just love love LOVE the bouncy up-beat accompaniment. The whole track kind of has a Darwin Deez style to its production. That's a compliment I swear! Although, physically, Darwin Deez looks like the love child of David Hyde Pierce and the pierced-tongue brother in Rat Race (David Hyde Pierced-Tongue, if you will), musically, his quirky production always lifts my mood like an auditory amphetamine. And that's what "Can't Have" does as well! Also where da fuq is Darwin Deez nowadays??? I imagine he's probably like teaching himself to play the synthesizer with his feet. Or just like doing hallucinogens all day, erryday. Or, most likely, he engages in the latter which puts him in the proper headspace to attempt the former. Odd guy, gr8 jams. Blergh. Sry that half ur post was about hipster-Jon-Snow, Mr. Clark, but, long story short, your music (+ hat collection) rocks. September 18th cannot come fast enough.
 


Asta - Dynamite (ft. Allday)

8/17/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Within the first play, "Dynamite" had zoomed up to #2 on my "Top Ranking Songs Called Dynamite" list***." This sounds like an easy feat, but there are shocking number of songs with that title. Why, I could not say. I mean, I guess it's considered a sexy euphemism for explosive love and passion, but how many songs do you hear featuring other construction vocabulary? "This next one's called JackHammer!" ....said no one. I rest my case. Anyways, this collab between two Aussies pretty great. There are few things better than a rapper and a catchy pop hook. I have some questions though. Has Asta given up her musical identity in pursuit of radio superstardom? Because the two other singles I heard sound like peppier Zola Jesus. And "Dynamite" sounds like The Knocks. Just saying, if I were to Genius myself a playlist on Itunes, and those 2 artists ended up on the same page I would most definitely be contacting customer services. Ultimately I don't care what kind of sound Asta is putting out there, but it definitely makes me wonder what kind of business meetings are happening at record labels.

Random tidbit: There was an interview with Allday where he was asked if he fancied himself "the Australian Drake." He fumbled and started throwing out random American rapper names. I feel for the dude. I mean WHAT!? Allday, I'll say it for you: you sound literally nothing like Drake. You're welcome.


***Sorry Asta but no one beats Taio Cruz. An anthem for all generations.


Julio Bashmore - Holdin On (ft. Sam Dew)

8/17/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Well this is bringing 70s disco realness. To the point where I'm wondering, if you buy this single, does it come with platform heels and a mountain of cocaine? I think it's the strings. Or maybe they are synths that sound like strings. Either way, I feel like the ghost of Barry Manilow is with us when I hear them. I am impressed that Julio Bashmore crafted this tune, because his other music seems like it's mostly for people on drugs. And I listened to this at least 7 times while I sat sober in my office cube! It made checking flow charts a lot more fun FYI. A lot of people are saying this reminds them of Disclosure, but I keep thinking of SBTRKT. You know, when SKTRKT didn't suck*** The similarity also makes sense because both of them have worked with Jessie Ware. Seriously, there is so much overlap in the British indie music scene, it's comparable to mapping out which of your pledge class sisters have banged the same dudes. Always more than u think. Lastly, I would like to give a shout out to Sam Dew. He as the voice of a disco house angel. Also I had no idea this was the same guy from the Wale song "Love Hate Thing." I LOVED that song. And apparently he wrote the hook. And this hook. Marry meeeeeeee. 



***a hunch I had which was confirmed at Gov Ball, when they played music only rodents on acid could enjoy. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!


RHODES + Birdy - Let It All Go

8/14/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

When I saw the 2 names attached to this, I assumed the amount of emotional cutting would be too much to handle. When I listen to Birdy and Rhodes SEPARATELY I feel like I just watched my dog get run over. Definitely in a good way. But I feel drained nonetheless. This was a pleasant surprise though. Instead of beating  us over the head with Christina Perri-like melodrama, Birdy and Rhodes are pretty scaled back here. Their voices mesh well together. It's like Sonny and Cher, except instead of singing upbeat songs about free love, they sing about...therapy? I don't really know what's happening in this song, but it sounds cathartic. Definitely needs to soundtrack a movie about individuals working through white people problems. You know, like finding yourself through nature. Or some shit like that. Also this is random, but if I see one more blog mentioning these two are "singer/songwriters," I'm going to be...angrier than my normal amount. HELLO WORLD, everyone is a singer/songwriter!! Sammy Adams: singer/songwriter. Dolly Parton: singer/songwriter. Cobra Starship: singer/songwriters. Except Britney. She's a backup dancer who got lucky. T4L out.



Midnight To Monaco- Suicide

8/14/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments




This is Green Day meets Pitch Perfect. Like it's what Green Day would sound like they stopped producing content targeted at depressed 13 year olds* and formed a doo-wop electronica group instead #inagoodway. Except for the fact that it is technically about suicide, this is the perfect upbeat car-with-the-top-down song. The saturated harmonies kept me from pressing the skip button and the duphonic synth layered underneath had me permanently pressing the repeat button 4 dayyyys. Oh, and i'm literally gr00ving so hard to that funky, punchy bass line. Honestly, the best I've encountered since "Uptown Funk" no lie. But I am literally so confused, M2M: Did you hire the same portrait artist that did the infamous Kramer piece for your cover art? Their stylistic similarities are undeniable. (and ppl said that Art History minor was superfluous. FUCK U, SCIENCE)


*I'm v. ashamed of how often I listened to Boulevard of Broken Dreams in middle school -__-.

*RELEASE* Catey Shaw- Walks All Over You

8/13/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Me being a product of prep school, it's my absolute favorite pastime to bitch about my fellow female (Sry for setting your movement back like a century, Susan B., but if you walked past a girl wearing Crocs I bet you would automatically judge her as well.) I'm not proud of this nasty personality trait, but I'm also not proud of my knee-jerk reaction in like 95% of my social encounters so I have bigger fish to fry than innately being a "C U Next Tuesday" to a girl whose wardrobe consists of only body-con dresses*.



Ultimately, though, my affinity for cattiness is why Catey's newest single is basically my ideal pop song. It's just an upbeat, saccadic jam warning this boy about the bat-shit-crazy bitch he has chosen to hook up with. Like I feel like Cruel Intentions would have ended a lot differently if Ryan Philippe's character had been able to hear this song and its message. He would have known much earlier to cut the cord with Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kathryn. (...although the coke-necklace and the fact that she was HIS FUCKING STEP-SISTER probably should have served as warning signs as well...) The lyrics aren't the only thing elevating "Walks All Over You" above most of the other pop songs churned out today. The production choices are all purrrrrrfection as well. Those punchy, 80's-style drums! The infectious piano chords! The brassy, sassy horns! And, last but not least, that twinkling synth! It's so warm and shimmery that it sounds like a shooting star which seems like the most retarded statement but, yet, u also 100% agree with me so it's accurate nonetheless. Honestly, I could rave all day about this track but the leeeeetle boy from Broad City sums my feelings up best:


So go buy "Walks All Over" on iTunes now or A POX ON ALLLLL UR HOUSES! ...nahh, not really. I mostly just like to use the term "a pox" whenever I get the opportunity but if you don't at least give the track a <3 on HypeM I will cast some sort of curse on you. And seeing as we gingers are supposedly aligned with Satan (eVr hEarD of hIM?!?!), u REEALLY don't want my ginger-voodoo fucking with ur life.

* Because, let's face it, we all know someone who loves body-con dresses even more than they love themselves and we all secretly h8 that person whether or not we admit that fact to ourselves.


Doe Paoro - Nostalgia

8/13/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


This girl has been simmering on the indie back-burner for awhile. I am familiar with Doe Paoro because of her creepy/amazing song "Born Whole," released in 2012. I feel that song could have sound-tracked a Faulkner adaptation. You know, one where a lot of fucked up shit happens. #allofthem. Anyways, I was delighted when she popped up again on my newsfeed with "Nostalgia." Someone is gunning for some (Sirius alternative) radio play! Nah but for real, this is a poppier vibe than what I would expect. Obviously I love it. The narrative is also pretty hilarious. Doe P. probably intended it as a heartfelt plea to her nostalgia obsessed bofo, but all I can think of when I listen to this is ...BUZZFEED. Take for example, the following: "I wish you could see / your history is chaining / we could let go / and never lose / nostalgia is killing us." When I hear that, I can only think of headlines such as "25 Ways Colored Ketchup Was On Fleek." Or "Which Cruel Intentions Character Should You Have Sex With?" Or "13 Times NOW 7 Saved Your Life." Oh nostalgia, you have trapped me. I want to be forward thinking, but all I can do is obsess about how Ryan & Marisa were perfect for each other. This whole thing is also ironic, because the production on this is straight 80s. Doe Paoro, u are sly and cool. We await your next release.


Penguin Prison - All Night Long (Lionel Richie cover. fucking duh)

8/12/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


This song was covered by Penguin Prison approximately 400 years ago (2014), but I just found it. And...I had to post about it. Not because I am a Lionel Ritchie fan, but because my psychotic friend is obsessed with "All Night Long." Her obsession began 2 years ago, when this played on repeat at a shitty American tourist restaurant in Dublin. It ended in... her murder. Jk, it ended in me declaring my simultaneous love and hatred for Lionel Riche's most famous tune. On the one hand, how can you not tap your foot? I swear, even Hitler would shimmy to this track. On the other hand, I want to hang myself when I hear it. A real tossup. And the thing is, Penguin Prison's take makes me feel the exact same way. Mainly because this cover sounds the same as the original. Right down to the happy-as-fuck synth keyboards. Chris Glover even possesses the same Rasta vocal delivery here.  Actually though, the cover is a little bit speedier. All Night Long with an adderall bump. I'll take it.

P.s. The coloring book rendering of Mr. Richie is a thing of beauty.


Jess Glynne- Don't Be So Hard On Yourself

8/11/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


I feel I should take this album art and frame it in my room as a motivational poster. Not only does it convey the reminder to not be so hard on myself, but it also represents the endgame to some serious #lifegoals of mine like applying eyeliner without smudging or taming my unruly, curly hair. Her eyeliner is legitimately flawless (sry but I refuse to use the trending term at the moment: "on fleek") and the styling of her hair looks so velvety and luxurious! Whereas whenever I let my ginger mane go curly I look halfway between Bernadette Peters and Shawn White. But that's a topic for another time (mainly Halloween time. Yah know, when it's okay to look like Ronald McDonald with a serious case of bed-head.)

If you couldn't tell by the fact that I'm ready to frame her album art above my bed, Jess Glynne can do no wrong in my eyes. She produces one amazing single after the other and each one somehow manages to be even more infectious than the last. She does amazing collabs (do I even need to mention the sugary, symphonic perfection that is "Rather Be"?) and her powerhouse voice is unparalleled. The only person who even holds a candle to Glynne's vocals out there right now is Ella Eyre. Maybe it's the frizzy hair?! Although, I don't know if that rule stands because, like mentioned above, I'm a curl-girl and I really don't think I'd label my voice as a "powerhouse". I would label it more as "Seal-Like".... seal the animal, not the singer, unfortunately :( . Also shout-out to "Don't Be So Hard On Yourself"'s effervescent house piano. That thing is so upbeat I want to pound vodka until I make decisions I regret the next morning lying in bed. 'Cause then I can just look at my Jess Glynne motivational poster and remember to not be so hard on myself and my regret will be gone!! (It's like how Gob from Arrested Development takes a Forget-Me-Now every morning... 'cept like the G-rated, non-drug-abuse version of that).

Sol- Ain't Gon' Stop

8/11/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


This song has vibes for dayyyyyys. Now, if I was guessing the identity of of Sol based on this picture alone, I would say he is some group of siblings. Possibly the love children of Gary Coleman's character from Different Strokes and Daft Punk. Like some way, way, wayyyyyy off-brand, techie-age Jackson 5. But, like most people on the internet, this picture associated with Sol does not accurately depict his appearance. He is some dude from Seattle.  But honestly, he could be a Kardashian and we would still love him because of the good vibes oozing from his newest track, "Ain't Gon' Stop". Hands down my favorite part of this song is when he rhymes "holy water" to "marijuana". And it's made only better by the fact that the line is "At the bar drinking holy water". I just imagine like Mother Teresa, Jesus and Sol going shot 4 shot at a dive bar (The Blessed Mother, of course, beasts the competition.) Also, who doesn't love some brassy horns added into their inspirational rap song?? Helloooooooo? Kanye's "Golddigger"? Kendrick's "Rigamortus"? Rizzle Kicks' "Down With the Trumpets"? They all would sound worse than Fran Drescher getting a Brazilian without the groovy, blaring horns (not true, but the brass does make me feel like I'm perpetually the queen of a Mardi Gras float and that's a fun alter-ego to embody. So BRING ON THE TRUMPETS, RAPPING PPL! Also, TG I didn't typo there and miss a crucial 'p'. They say no publicity is bad publicity but I'm gonna go ahead and label "being known for showing support for rapists" as bad press.)

Harrison Brome - Midnight Island

8/10/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


I feel like Harrison Brome is what could have happened to Michael Buble had he discovered Nirvana at age 10 instead of Tony Bennett. But according to Wiki, when Mikey was a teenager he "slept with his Bible and prayed to become a singer," so we knew that was never going to happen.*** I don't mean that Harrison Brome sounds like Nirvana, I just feel like people who grow up to be cool musicians probably listened to Kurt Cobain at some point. Even if they didn't like it, they definitely pretended to. And I do think he has a smooth quality to his voice reminiscent of M.B. It's very self-assured. Anyways, this is ultimately a very cracked out way of expressing love for "Midnight Island." The production is silky smooth, and the vibes are lazy summer good. Lyrically, I also like what Harrison Brome^^^ is serving. Take for example, "I want to feel the bliss that I deserve." That's very Donna from Parks and Rec of you H.B. Treat Yoself!! If following your bliss is venturing to a tropical island, more power to you. Tunes For Loons looks forward to your next single sir.



***I don't even know if I believe this. Maybe a crazy Catholic woman curated Michael Buble's wiki page. Let us hope.

^^^Harrison Brome feels like a name where you use both words. Like Mike Wazowski.

Calvin Harris & Disciples - How Deep Is Your Love

8/09/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


It's embarassing that I'm using that picture, but DGAF. You smoulder like the brightest star Calvin !! (here's where I would insert heart face emogis if I was internet savvy). BUT, besides looking like a hot statue, Mr. Harris also crafts smart electronic music, so that is what we will be discussing here today. I'm a little shocked he went for something lacking huge commercial appeal. I mean, it's not a concept album on the origins of the Loch Ness monster, but it's also not "I Need Your Love." Which, considering the less "accessible" music of his earlier career, makes me think he probably never wanted to make Top 40 jams. And now that he's rich AF, he can do whatever he wants! Which means giving the people deep houseeeeee. I dig it. Favorite part is when Disciples sings "Is it like the oceannn." That part rocks. The music video is bordering on offensive though. Obviously Gigi Hadid is super hot, and I would look at her shake her hair around all day long, but this video makes Victoria's Secret commercials look like C-SPAN. Could we maybe have some narrative structure?! Is Gigi an exotic dancer? A rapper's GF? Is she a down-on-her-luck girl looking for love in Ibiza? ANYTHING. Literally, she's eye-fucking the camera for 4 minutes. I give up.

P.S. Youtube comment of the century on this video.  "Came here hoping for a Bee Gees cover, left disappointed."



The Internet - Girl (ft. KAYTRANADA)

8/05/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Guys, that pic is what comes up when you Google Image "the internet." I mean....how can I even comment on this? I'm not going to, but I wanted everyone to know about it. You're welcome. Regarding this song, I am sorry that I ignored it for so long. I kept trying to convince myself it was boring and devoid of structure, but in reality it is low-key brilliant. Kind of like how I feel about the movie Office Space. It seems stupid, but when it's 11 years later and you still find yourself muttering "I believe you have my stapler," it's time to admit your passion for it. Yeah, just like that. The beat on  this is very addictive. An ominous trumpet!? What more could you ask for. Although, I shudder when I think of all the freaky sex that's going on with this playing in the background. A real slow jam. The music video is also as weird as you would expect an Odd Future production to be. The first half looks like the Itunes synthesizer***, the second half looks like a deranged Sound of Music recreation. Like, bordering-on-Teletubbies deranged. The Hills really are alive Maria.


***do people know about the Itunes synthesizer?  Perhaps only the young and the stoned do. Which could also be the title of potentially the worst soap opera ever. Fat people watching TV. #ratingsgold


RAC - Falling Hard (ft. Madi Diaz)

8/02/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


IM FALLING HARD FOR THAT PIC. And I hate cats. Also falling hard for this song. It's like cotton-candy Phantogram. I know we talk about everything in hyperbolic terms (in this post-Buzzfeed world, how else am I supposed to write?!), but I am reallllly obsessed with this. First of all, I think this is very out of the box for RAC. I would not guess this was him, and that dude has one of the most distinct sounds in indie music. Sometimes in a bad way. So bravo sir. I love that it's in a minor key. There is something slightly unsettling about it, which makes me want to listen to it again and again. Secondly, Madi Diaz. "Chase Us Around," her excellent collab with Viceroy, taught me there was music beyond Pitbull and Jason de Rulo. For real, I used to listen to Top 40 when I was like, chilling in my bed. Time and a place, you know? There's no place for Flo Rida when you're lying horizontal. Neither in online shopping or, GOD FORBID, a sexual setting. If you are trying to listen to Apple Bottom Jeans and hook up, I want to run far away from you. Long story short, Madi Diaz's mere presence on "Falling Hard" is a game-changer. Please make an entire album together.