t4L in a Nutshell- October 2015

10/31/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


OMMITTED DITTIES 
Cause we can't blog every amazzzing track that crosses our path. 
We do have lives yah know??—But actually, we're not being sarcastic this month!
We actually did have shit to go to, and we have the proof to back it up!
(see our BalconyTV, AQUILO & UTA reviews). CMJ, ily mucho.

But all these below are a jam & a half, y'allll, full review or NAWT.
So check them out! Or don't. We get the page-view stat either way.

Adele- Hello
#fuckingDUH I'm posting this. The only thing that I can find to hate about this song is the plethora of satirical instagrams it has spawned. Too many people out there think they are wayyyy too funny (I know 'cause I am one of them -__-).

Justin Bieber- Sorry
I wanted to learn the dance in this music video SO BAD. But then I remembered I have the rhythm of a vegetable (the food or the comatic kind. Your pick.)

Honestly, I could post more but those are really the only two songs you need (and should) be listening to. Enjoy the one (and probably only) time our favorites line-up with the Billboard Hot 100 charts. I feel so normal, ew. 




Miike Snow - Heart Is Full

10/31/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Miike Snow, aka the band that looks like a typo, has returned. This tune is the first single off their upcoming album III. If you heard and liked any of their old music, chances are you might be butthurt over "Heart Is Full." The Soundcloud comments were about as kind as my grandma is to black people. And to be fair, anonymous users on the Internet are entitled to their trolling. This is America dammit. But I drew the line when comparisons to Fall Out Boy were made. Miike Snow, your new song sounds nothing like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"!! Of this I feel obligated to assure you. In fact, I think "Heart Is Full" is your best material yet. Who doesn't love a 60s brassy soul sample? The bass is a little Flume-y, and makes me want to dance in slow motion. But let me pose this question: does anyone else hear the phrase "is full," and immediately start sweating there's no storage left on your phone? I swear I saw "Heart Is Full" and I got palpitations of terror I would be unable to save my Halloween pics for Instagramming tonight. Technology is the best right.

*RELEASE* THE ROSA - Love Me Back

10/31/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Happy Halloween to every loon out there. Instead of giving you "Trick or Treat For UNICEF***" money, my gift is this song from Danish up n comer THE ROSA. (No) offense to every unknown that has emailed us music, but this is literally the only good submission to date. First of all, it doesn't seem like it was recorded with a potato. It sounds like actual humans set up recording equipment and captured THE ROSA's soulful voice skillfully. Bringing some Alicia Keys vibes. Secondly, there is structure to this song. It may surprise all the Millennials in the house, but not all of you are capable of writing a song. I certainly am not.^^^ Well THE ROSA wrote a catchy ass song yall, and she deserves to be applauded. Lastly, this song is relatable. In "Love Me Back," THE ROSA sings of an all too common scenario: throwing yourself at someone who values you less than the last piece of gum. Exhibit A: "I need you / But you make me cry / Yet I cry for you / I will cry for you / Don't want to be anyone else's no ...So love me back" Preach girl. I know your struggle.


 ***Did this happen to other people? Call me Satan but I just wanted to gobble free candy in the 3rd grade, and this charitable facet of Halloween was the worst.

^^^I just talk shit about people that do!!

*RELEASE* The Chainsmokers- New York City

10/30/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


All I can say is #preeeeeach. The chorus to The Chainsmokers' latest basically took the words straight out my drunk-alter-ego's mouth. Every night of the weekend I pray silently to myself (or aloud if I've had enough tequila) that NYC will go easy on me, my wallet, and my feet that I have ambitiously (and idiotically) squeezed into wobbly, 4-inch tall booties. The night usually ends with my prayers unanswered and my ego sizably-bruised by the fact that I fell and ate shit in the middle of E Houston traffic.


But enough about me and my glamorous #ratchet life. Veering from the track's all-too-real lyricism, the production style of "New York City" is also deserving of some praise. The intricacy and innovation of the song's layering only proves how much talent The Chainsmokers possess. "NYC" oscillates from a string-studded ballad to a synth-driven, progressive house banger with so much fluidity that it's first track I've ever used the tag "bipolar" for. I mean this in a good way. The song is unpredictable and intense, like an auditory incarnation of Carrie Matheson off her meds. Or like the city of New York itself (yeah, shit just got deep). The track also serves a pivotal role in The Chainsmokers' ever-rising careers. Not only is it the last single off their "Bouquet" EP*", but the song also marks the kick-off of their Friendzone tour. Although, if you're gonna name your show the "Friendzone tour" you might as well have just have named it "The Jorah Mormont Experience". HBO would undoubtedly shell out some serious $$$ for the promotion of their content, and who doesn't love money?!? It grows on trees and buys you happiness**!

*buy it here or 4ever be on our shitlist, right after white girls sporting cornrows and right before Katharine Heigl.

**Don't fact-check that.

Grimes - Flesh Without Blood / Life In The Vivid Dream

10/28/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

The wait is over. Grimes' new music is here, and it's... COMMERCIAL. Chillax hipsters. You're not about to hear your 9 year old cousin yelling the words at a bar mitzvah. But it's definitely shedding the haunted baby vibes, and embracing the Sirius alt-pop ones. Honestly, I'm just glad that she stopped freaking out and went for it. I can imagine this girl agonized between recording properly enunciated pop music or sampling Japanese grasshoppers for an entire album. Thank god money-loving Grimes won, because the first 2 songs off "Art Angels" are amazing. Like, "1.2 Million Youtube views in 2 days" amazing. "Flesh Without Blood" is the single. Upbeat with depressing lyrics. It may sound like the Sour Patch Kids formed a band, but if you pay attention you might be bummed out. Take the following:  "I don't see the light I saw in you before / And now I don't care anymore / Baby believe me / If you had a chance / You'd destroy everything you love" ....Hello #darkness my old friend. Grimes, fuck whoever made you sad, because he's prob going to make you Adele(ish) wealthy.

PS. Everyone who's mourning the "old" Grimes, shut the fuck up and watch the music video. Our beautiful fairy struts around in Marie Antoinette gear on a basketball court and gets covered in blood. Can Britney do that? I DIDN'T THINK SO.






THEY. - Motley Crue

10/24/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Holy moly these people have Illuminati written all over them. Or should I say THEM. Reasons why: classical myth themes in the album art, the spelling of new as "nu,"and lastly, lyrics about ambiguous danger. Also they came out of no where. Shady shit you guys. Regardless of whether or not THEY. are secretly running the nation, their track "Motley Crue" deserves your attention. Firstly, any song with beautiful male harmonizing is a winner to me. I mean this is basically the Everly Brothers, if the Everly Brothers sang of pussy and niggas. Secondly, the ominous R&B vibe is cranked to 1000. There's a creepy piano riff, some monkish backing vocals, and a loop about being "forgiven." I love it. The Weeknd probably heard this and ripped his pineapple hair out!! It's okay Abel, I still like the Hills.


P.s. THEY., I want you to know when I visited your twitter page the "you may also like" section provided Bill de Blasio as an option. #Illuminati


Ryan Hemsworth & Lucas- From Grace

10/24/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Ryan Hemsworth: a true master of soundscape. Few people can construct a universe out of sounds without vocals, and I believe he is best of the best. Him and Tycho. That compliment is meant to counteract my last post, in which I confused him with Ryan Lewis and congratulated him on his recent success with Macklemore. I thought I was being so funny** -- "RYAN CAN WE GO THRIFT SHOPPING." Nailed it. Weed is bad you guys. Anyways, in Mr. Hemsworth's most recent effort, he has partnered with a dude named Lucas to give the people "From Grace," a four minute jumble of...I don't know what. No really, I don't know what's happening here. But somehow, it succeeds at conjuring up a lot of emotion. It's like the Adele of instrumental tracks. How Ryan did that with (what sounds like) a bird- wing flapping sample and some drums is beyond what my teeny brain can comprehend. You reduced me to a tearful contemplative mess with synths. Well played.


**a recurring theme on this blog

Run The Jewels - Close Your Eyes (And Count To Fuck)

10/24/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


I am one of those dicks who hears one song by a band and claims to love their entire being. Steely Dan? Amazing classic rock! (knows Reelin in The Years) Black Keys? The dopest you guys! (heard 1 song in a movie trailer.) Well, my new victims are Run The Jewels. I heard "Close Your Eyes and Count To Fuck" and now I am spewing my love for them everywhere I go. Kind of like a college kid who is passionate about discussing Syria because ISIS is like, so fucked up you guys. Of course, my actual knowledge about Run The Jewels may evolve. By the time you read this, maybe I will have become their biographer (they remixed one of their albums exclusively to cat sounds! halfway there). But for now, I am the worst kind of fan. The fan that hipsters have nightmares about. Well, sorry. I'm not about to show up to a concert and demand the lost B sides. But you know what, if this song helps people find other Run The Jewels music, I think that's pretty amazing. Speaking of this song, I want to walk into the club wearing tranny heels and a million dollars worth of trashy bling when I hear this. It's so badass. I like to imagine Bill Nye works out to this song. That hook is fiyaaa!! Reminds me of NWA. You know, one of my favorite bands of all time.

Lost Kings- You (ft. Katelyn Tarver)

10/24/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


If Ashlee Simpson were still a relevant entity in the music world, I feel like she would sing this song. But, alas, homegirl is stuck in 2006 along with Mischa Barton and Spencer Pratt and so the song goes to Nickelodeon-star "Katelyn Tarver" instead. Say what you want about Disney/ ABC Family/ Nickelodeon kids-turned-full-time-celeb but they seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. Shailene Woodley gets paid to fall in love with hot guys and Selena Gomez is a fundamental member of T. Swift's #squad. Oh, and Miley Cyrus just gets to smoke weed all day every day. Success all around for people of this caliber, so it's no surprise that Katelyn Tarver has also managed break-out of the tween-scene and onto the HypeM charts. Of course most of the credit for this oh-too-infectious ditty goes to the Lost Kings, who first grabbed our attention last month with the release of "Bad". This song is like the Golden Retriever of house pop music #weirdbuttrue. It's just something that's like unbelievably happy and spirited but also refreshingly, for a lack of a better word, simple. Like don't tell me you don't feel an incredible amount of synergy when you press play and scroll through the gifs below:










Honestly, 87% of the reason I even made that canine-based analogy is so I could search through Golden Retriever gifs for 20 minutes #blessed. But also, if that audio-visual experience didn't just give you the goofiest ear-to-ear smile, then u have no soul and please leave this site and be with people of your own kind (aka type www.pitchfork.com into ur search bar #throwningshade #dontcare). 

GRRL PAL- Suggest

10/24/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


I get weird vibes from this track. And by "weird vibes" I mean that I think it sounds like an Imogen Heap slow-burn cover of Mark Cherry's "Getaway" (aka that obscure, satirical pop song from Arrested Development season 4). Yeah, ppl. When I said "weird vibes" I seriously meant odd AF. Sry, I'm weirder than a sexually-frustrated Nick and Jess, but I think my observation is accurate nonetheless:







"Suggest" is GRRL PAL's latest and it's a little slice of swirly, dream-pop heaven. Jay Le Kat's wispy vocals float weightlessly over the synergy of Danny K's production work. The synth is warped and muted but in like a semi-psycedelic way. Like I feel like this song would be part of the soundtrack to a Tim Burton movie if Tim Burton ever decided to take a stab at making a John-Hughes-styled rom-com.  Again, weird thought, but what kind of commentary did you expect from a blog named Tunes4Loons, really?

Steve James X Jasmine Thompson- Earned It (The Weeknd Cover)

10/23/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


JASMINE THOMSPON WAS BORN IN 2000. The tail-end of 2000 I might add. Learning this news made me feel older than Betty White and about as cool as a broken Frigidaire. When I was 15 I lived vicariously through my Sims and my most prized possession was a life-size cardboard cut-out of Legolas. Whereas Jasmine Thompson at 15 is slaying covers and feature spots left and right.

We first took notice of Thompson's ghostly vocals last August when Felix Jaehn remixed her cover of "Ain't Nobody." She's someone who, in the past year, has frequented the HypeM charts more than I frequent 16-Handles, and yet you still may have passed her over. But no longer! If you haven't noticed Ms. Thompson yet, her cover of "Earned It" screams "pay some fucking attention to me!" Not only has she decided to tackle a track by The Weekend, aka the biggest up-and-coming pop star in the game right now*, but she (and Steve James) manage to rework "Earned It" in all the right ways. The slow-building piano, Thompson's flutey vocals and the chipmunk-tweaked harmonies all pair together perfectly. Although as the track progresses it sounds less and less like the original, I still dig it's swirly-pop vibes and applaud them for actually embracing the song and making it their own. Press play below for forever be on my shitlist, ppl, this song rocks my socks.

*and a man with hair more wonky than that of the entire Whoville community

LIVE! Review: CMJ 2015- POWERS & The Zolas (Rockwood 10/15)

10/21/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


POWERS


I can hear that fun, thumping POWERS bass-line as soon as I submerge from the subway stop, no lie*. FREE CONCERT IN THE STREET HELLYEAH!! Oh, jk, the showcase is free, so I stop dancing with the homeless guy outside and go in.

I was immediately digging the band's vibes. Crista Ru was wearing platform combat boots. (I repeat, PLATFORM COMBAT BOOTS. I want! I need! Although by asking for them I'm basically asking for a sprained ankle. I have the balance of a giraffe on rollerskates**). Oh, and Mike del Rio looked straight off the set of some eighties porno version of "Ferris Bueller". Needless to say, both members of POWERS has personal style for dayyyyys, y'all!

I love their music but seeing it live elevated all their tracks to an even more dynamic level. I was only half a beer deep and still these guys managed to have me thrashing my head along to the drum solo. Everything was so intricately laced and layered and with each song POWERS' stage confidence and connection with the crowd grew stronger. They kinda sounded like Santana. But, like, Santana at their absolute best (aka collaborating with Rob Thomas #smooth=BAE). 

They closed with a bang, performing "Loved By You", The Knocks' "Classic", and "Beat of My Drum." all in one fell swoop. It was my bliss, it was my heaven, it was simply perfection. I haven't raved so much about something since our review of Jamie xx in June! (And I was super high writing said post, so that's a feat & a half, POWERS! I'm as generous as Mother Theresa when I'm stoned.)

*Yes, I got there late because a) I was was born after 1990 and b) a 7:00 pm start time is ambitious as fuq. Any 20-something in an any sort of "assistant" role will understand my pain, here!

**weird analogy but how FUN is that image of a giraffe of rollerskates?? #urwelcome



THE ZOLAS


I swear to god the lead singer was wearing a time turner around his neck. He wore some trinket on a long gold chain and looked straight out of a 1999 LL Bean catalogue. So time travel was the first thing my batshit brain jumped to. I got major "Spoon" vibes from these guys. But they also managed to sound sort of cross-generational—A reference to 50's-style rock here. A nod to 90's grunge there. A bit of 60's-style acid rock and mid-2000's surf rock scattered throughout. The Zolas basically created an incredibly delicious jambalaya of vintage sound (Sry, I've been watching too much Food Network, but I stand by that statement nonetheless). 

Honestly what was there not to love about everything associated with The Zola's Thursday night performance? 

Bass?: Good. 
Guitar?: Fantastic.
Drums?: Stellar.
Piano?: Lively.
Crowd?: Engaged.
Anecdotes?: Endearing.
"I Fell In Love With New York"?: Amazing.
"Knot in My Heart"?: Exceptional.
This review? ........mmmmmm, Mediocre (at best.)

Okay, so maybe not everything associated with their performance is flawless. We kinda ruined your perfect score there, The Zolas. Many apologies -___-. Sry, but was a loooooong-ass week of CMJ festivities so I'm basically running on chocolate-covered expresso beans and good memories while writing this.

But, seriously, yah killed it, Zolas. 10 out of 10, 5 stars, whatever unit of measurement you wanna go with. I personally like to rate things in terms of Hogwarts house points #nErdyAF:

- 5 points for mentioning not 1, but 2 Disney princesses in a set (and the best ones at that. I would like to think that Mulan is my cartoon spirit-animal. In reality, it's probably Angelica Pickles).

- 10 points for talking audience suggestions

- 50 points for taking MY audience suggestion, "Strange Girl" (aka my fucking anthem)

- 150 mother-fucking points for spontaneously climbing into the audience and getting all kumbaya for your last song, "Escape Artist". 85 tipsy New Yorkers chanting "coming cumming in the sheets" was both uplifting and fucking hilarious.


And so that brings Gryffindor (#fuckingDUH you boys are in Gryffindor!) to 560 total house points. Verdict:







Lol, basically only did the gif thing so I can watch that last one over and over. Tumblr's funny, y'all! Who knew? <---- everyone, that's who. Sry, as mentioned above, I'm perpetually late to the party. 

Marcus Marr & Chet Faker - The Trouble With Us

10/20/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

For as long as I can remember (2012), Chet Faker has been singing about fucked up relationships. Me guess he likes some crazy. #callme . Whoever his Taylor Swift is, we must send her flowers to thank her for giving the world this song. "The Trouble With Us" is Chet Faker at his very best. Great melody, spittin amazing lyrics. Although I do have to say, I cannot disassociate the line "we're fighting naked / nothing's sacred" with the scene out of Borat when his naked manager wrestles him to the ground. If you didn't think that before...you're welcome for this trauma. For real though, I think this song has really poetic lyrics. Before I say something mean and acerbic to cancel that sincerity, consider the phrase, "That's the trouble with me / I need the trouble with you." So simple. So wise! Even without that stuff, the song is perfect. Who knew a fusion of disco, funk, and (country? eh I'll call it bluegrass) would yield such a beautiful product? It's like when two ugly people have hot kids. Or when Kate Hudson appears in a good movie. Or when two foods that seem nasty together are actually great complements. Pickles n peanut butter. Try it.



Ta-Ku - American Girl (ft. Wafia) (Estelle/Kanye Cover)

10/20/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments

Straight up, this is the sexiest song I've ever heard. Holy shit you guys! If this can't get you pregnant, nothing will. Of course, half of this credit needs to go to Estelle (ugh and I guess Kanye), who was unfairly just mentioned in a Buzzfeed quiz entitled "Do You Remember These Obscure 00's Pop Stars?" SHAME ON U BUZZFEED. Estelle is queen. But while Estelle and Yeezy provided A+ material, Ta-Ku and Wafia have really transformed this song. For starters, they changed half the lyrics to say "Girl" instead of "boy." No but for real, this cover is a stripped back (and perhaps improved) version of the disco-infused original. The production is smooooooooothhhh. The drawn out piano is sensual. The base is sultry. The vocals are hot. Just when you think it can't get any better, they add strings. I feel like I probably made everyone uncomfortable with this review. well fuck you! If this song soundtracked every Nicholas Sparks movie ever made, Hunger Games would no longer be the hottest franchise, I tell you this much.




LIVE! Review: CMJ 2015- AQUILO (Good Room 10/14)

10/20/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


I'm sorry this is so delayed, I just exited a blackout that began last Thursday. But now my mind is awake, and so I can shout from the rooftops how amazing AQUILO was at Good Room last Wednesday night. You may have heard of these British youngsters from their 2014 track "You There." I know about it because of a bizarre Unilever commercial about saving the rain forests. But Youtube comments informed me that most know that song from "So You Think You Can Dance." I always knew broadcast Tv was good for something. Anyways, they played that one and a few others to a very hip (excluding us) crowd with a really good response. My rambling thoughts are below:

Aquilo takes the stage in the standard hipster uniforms, aka they are dressed to blend into darkness. My immediate thought is that the music sounds a lot more dynamic live. It's a little depressed on record, but here, it is alive like Lamar. I'm mostly attributing this to the fact there are layered vocals, which are not as detectable when you listen on Soundcloud. The harmonies are magical and bone chilling, especially on "Human" and "Better Off Without You." I swear to God the keyboardist is capable of Mariah Carey falsetto. Or at least Bee Gee level. The newer stuff I hadn't heard was more commercial, which obviously I was drooling over. Slightly dancey, a little disco. Single...ish. Does Aquilo love those tracks as much as their record label!? I hope so, because I think that could be an interesting direction for these lads (I pretend I'm British in my free time k) to head in. ALSO THEY WERE SO CUTE. bye.





Quinn XCII- Stung (ft. ayokay)

10/19/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


This. Cover Art.............. "Houston Quinn XCII, we have a problem." What is this? Perhaps it's a depiction of what Mr. XCII saw when he did acid during NYC's supermoon last month. Who knows. Whatever hipster meaning behind it, I am not into the end result. PDA should be performed by celebrities and cute, little old people ONLY. You know you agree.

Aside from it's cover art, Detroit-based "Quinn XCII"'s latest is pure melodic bliss. "Stung"'s perfectly polished piano slabs and eclectic production style pair together better than nice whiskey and cheap pizza (<--- #thingsUlearn@workfunctions). And on top of all of ayokay's amazing layering, Quinn's vocals steer the track through an ever-changing array of tempos and vibes. His honeyed voice floats from balladic-pop to R&B groove so seamlessly he's like a male Nicki Minaj. (I mostly made that comparison so can see this guy's reaction when I s/o to him on twitter and proclaim he's the next Nicki Minaj heh heh heh).

LIVE! Review: CMJ 2015- BalconyTV Kick-Off Showcase (Webster Hall 10/13)

10/15/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


ALL HAIL the music Gods for giv—what? No! Sit da fuq down, Kanye! I wasn't referring to you in the slightest! Now, where was I? Right, ALL HAIL the actual music Gods for giving me the gift of CMJ's Music Marathon this week. It's like the Hanukkah of the NYC-music scene, except with alternative-indie tunes in place of the Hanerot Halalu and Bud Light in place of the miracle oil. Maybe that's a metaphor stretched too far, but it got your attention, riiiiight?

Before we begin our drunken ramblings, first we have to give a big shoutout to BalconyTV for kicking the CMJ festivities off with a BANG. I didn't even know BalconyTV was a corporate entity until like 26 hours ago, but thx for letting me crash your party regardless, guys!! You provided an excuse for me to "go up on a Tuesday". AKA y'all made me feel like Drake for .25 seconds. The ultimate rush.

EVVY


This is now the 3rd time I have seen EVVY in person and I still don't think I would be able to pick her out of a line-up. I've literally stood 5 feet away from her, and yet I still thought a stranger had poisoned EVVY and abducted her CMJ spot*. Sorry, homegirl, it's not you, it's me, honestly. I'm 93% sure I have that face blindness disease like that dude from Arrested Development Season 4.

Although my probable proposagnosia prevented me from recognizing her by sight, as soon as EVVY started her set, her distinct, crystalline vocals assured me there was no foul play going on backstage. (Also there were like 30 people in the crowd—and I'm being generous with that number—so I figured no one would commit a crime and risk life in prison to play for a group too small to form a legal-sized football team.) EVVY's voice sounded as exceptional as ever, but her mic could have been a teeny, tiny bit louder. Although, her mic was loud enough for me to hear her call the crowd "beautiful" two times in a span of 10 minutes. Thx EVVY!! I know since you repeated the statement twice that it must be true. I iz kind. I iz smart. I iz booooootiful.

Now, I had already expected EVVY's vocals to be stellar, but I was also pleasantly surprised by her stage presence and personal styling. Not only did she play the standing drum with the enthusiasm of a Blue-Man Group member, but she was also rocking a thick metallic choker. This only further supports t4L's summertime claims that the 90's-style choker is BACK in a big way. And who doesn't love when they're proven right?!? Perhaps the most memorable part of EVVY's performance was that she was romping around the stage completely barefoot, which added to the chill vibes of her set, but also almost gave me a second-hand panic attack. I just imagined like her foot stepping straight onto a nail so rusty that Salad Fingers would swoon at the sight of it. But she survived! A performance ending without someone in the room contracting Hepatitis is always a good thing. (Also it was probably like a huge rarity in the 1960s.)

* I hear that's kinda T. Swift's move. She's the one that got Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson hooked on those Calteen bars.



STONE COLD FOX


The lead singer of Stone Cold Fox definitely lives up to the band's name. He's a hot guy holding a guitar, aka I'm pretty sure he's the reason the fire emoji was invented. And the cat with heart eyes one too come to think of it.  He actually managed to wear a Hawaiian shirt and still look cool. Like 2015's version of Scarface minus, well, all the scars on his face #shittysimiles. And his voice had the purrrrfect combination of grit and whine. It's a difficult balance to get right but so sweet when it all comes together.

The rest of the band honestly looked as if they had all just emerged from their respective parents' basements for this one performance. But that's actually probably a good thing! It means in 40 years when we all die from skin cancer, they will still be fit as fiddles and producing stellar surf-rock tunes. Speaking of surf-rock, I'm pretty sure it will be the theme of CMJ. Surf-rock is to Fall 2015 as Hansel was to 2001 (ssssso hot RN). But Stone Cold Fox played the kick-off showcase, so anyone else with surf-rock vibes I will deem as copycats. Yah snooze, yah lose, Day Wave #srynotsry. The best part about the band's performance was that they made me feel as if I had been transported into the Bait Shop circa 2004. I was really hoping to run into my soulmate, Seth Cohen, but, alas, he must have still been recovering from Comic-Con or something.



SPIRIT ANIMAL


If I had to compare Spirit Animal's performance to one blockbuster movie, it would be "Man on a Ledge". The lead singer spent approximately 47% of the set perched on the edge of the stage with all the balance and poise of a Romanian gymnast. He also attempted the classic frontman-move of removing his shirt and singing half the set in a wifebeater. It was very rock & roll of him, but he didn't quite have the arm-muscle definition needed to make the reveal as dramatic as intended. Although, I really shouldn't talk because I, myself, have the muscle definition of the Pillsbury dough boy.

I got major "Red Hot Chili Peppers" vibes from these boys. Also the guitarist was rocking a Canadian tuxedo, only furthering their resemblance to the RHCPs. What with his denim-on-denim and EVVY's metallic choker, I felt the attack of the '90s was in full force. I meannnnnn, I didn't hate it. The one caveat in their performance came in the form of what sounded like a Metallica version of the "Cha Cha Slide". That was weird. But A MILLION points to Gryffindor for going off-stage and getting jiggy with the crowd. Also the award for best sound check of CMJ hands-down goes to them. It made me lol hard and was possibly the highlight of my night. U rock, nvr change, Spirit Animal.



ALEX WINSTON


Sloane from Entourage, I didn't know you sang! Oh wait that's Kylie Jenner. Oh, no, wait it's Alex Winston. I couldn't tell for sure because she didn't play Velvet Elvis!! MY FAVORITE SONG! I forgive you though, Ms. Winston, as your set had '80s synth for dayyyyyys. But your lack of drummer baffled and enraged me. Maybe it's just that I've recently been overly-obsessed with Keith Moon, but I feel as though a drummer is a crucial part of any performance.

I was really digging Winston's bootcut jeans** but her overall outfit was kind of blah. An off-white shirt, black jeans and a motocross jacket? Yawwwwn. Without the jacket I could have mistaken her for a cater waiter and asked her for shrimp puffs. Also, i neeeeeed to ask before I conclude this review, Alex: HOW do I get ur flawless bone structure and your delicate brow-line? I'm envious AF of both and I think that's why the majority of this review was laced with bitterness. Sry, I'm immature like that. Your voice sounded amazzzz, tho.

**ATTACK OF THE FUCKING '90s PPL, I TOLD U. Take cover or be prepared pull your mood rings and over-sized scrunchies out of retirement.


FEMME


Idk who this girl is but I came in from outside and she was smack dab in the middle of singing a slowed-down, less soulful version of RESPECT..........literally WUT? Her choreography looked like that of a '70's flash-mob. In short, she's not gonna be a finalist on "So You Think You Can Dance" anytime soon. When she wasn't following the moves choreographed for her by The Village People, she romped around stage like she was trying to expel a demon from her body. She was definitely trying to be Robyn, but didn't quite manage to pull it off.

Her belt said "MOSCHINO" which is funny cause the rest of her outfit said "I just got off my shift at the strip club." I know nothing about fashion and yet I still know those are two completely contradictory styles. The most distressing part of her outfit, however, was her accessories. I couldn't tell where her earrings ended and her necklace began. This made me concerned that she was going to auto-asphixiate herself with her inter-twined jewelry. However, my anxiety soon subsided as FEMME actually had a stunning voice and amazing vocal control. It's hard to describe, but it was like she had a hair dryer diffuser built into her vocal chords. And she had the Siren-esque sound down-fucking-pat.

She ended the performance by wishing everyone a "great weekend".......... it was Tuesday. SMH, FEMME, SMH.



FRENCH HORN REBELLION


Although there were approximately enough people on stage during this performance to start their own fully-functioning sovereign nation, French Horn Rebellion is actually just two people. One looked like the love-child of Jack White and Wolverine. The other a mixture between Elvis and Danesh from Silicon Valley #weirdbuttrue. Also Joey Fatone was straight killing it on the drums. Jk, but the resemblance was uncanny.

The best part of FHR's performance*** was that they had a legit dance-off mid-set. I was feeling it so much that I probably would have joined in if I had a little more alcohol in my system. Their set was just one infectious song after another. Up until this point I always thought that the steel drum was the most underrated instrument for an electronic ditty, but these boys proved me wrong. French horn is where it's at, y'all!!

***other than bringing Catey Shaw up on stage #fuckingDUH

Fickle Friends- Say No More

10/14/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Fickle Friends is like the "Stefon-reccommended-club" of the indie-band world. Aka, this band has EVERYTHING: A girl whose way cooler than you on vocals. A fella with a beanie. A dude with a man-bun (ushnisha if yah nasty a Japanese traditionalist.) PLUS they have a hot ginger guy, which I'm pretty sure is an endangered species on this planet! Fickle Friends even has a member I forget to mention! I'm sorry I've basically assigned you to be the "Chris Kirkpatrick" figure of Fickle Friends, man 2nd from the right, but if I learned anything from watching America's Next Top Model when I was in middle school, it's that giving a profile shot will never please the crowd -___-.

To the song at hand (sry I have the attention span of a fruit fly), "Say No More" is a vibrant little slice of indie-pop heaven. Not gonna lie, when I heard the slight twang of the guitar in the intro, I thought this was gonna be some terrible synthed-up version of "Life is a Highway". Luckily, the similarities between the two songs end as soon as Natti Shiners' saccharine vocals make their first appearance. The track manages to capture that quintessential '80s sound while still seeming current and progressive. Ten points to Gryffindor for accomplishing such a feat, y'allllll!! And another FIFTY points for ur #onfleek group-posing skills. Every single photo of you guys on Google Images has attitude for dayyyyys, I wanna join in! I haven't so strongly yearned to be a part of a squad since Taylor released her "Bad Blood" music video, and that's about the highest compliment a group of people can receive.
 

Anna Of The North - The Dreamer

10/12/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Anna of the North, I need some details. Are you Anna of Winterfell? Or Anna of Beyond the Wall? Thus concludes my Game of Thrones jokes, because that's probably a tired reference for all of you, and also because I don't know any more locations in GOT.*** In reality, Anna of the North is probably from Toronto. Or New Jersey. But regardless of her actual homeland (Oslo), "The Dreamer" is a great tune. I am no stranger to weepy girl anthems, but I can tell you this one is special. Maybe it's a combination of the stage name and the lyrics, but I feel transported when I hear this. To nowhere in particular, just like..nature. There's some mist and maybe sheep. And a beach. And Jon Snow. Ok I'm in Game of Thrones I admit it!! But for real, I'm digging the ambiance provided here. The production is kind of Coldplay tinged, but with stronger percussion. The vocals are floaty. Basically, for a song whose only lyrics are "it's not about you anymore" (which is what the Kardashians anonymously email to Paris Hilton every night), it's a very strong single. More please.



***JK, KINGS LANDING PLAYAAASSSS

Pegboard Nerds - Pink Cloud (ft. Max Collins)

10/12/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


I didn't find this out after I fell in love with it, but "Pink Cloud" was released in conjunction with Breast Cancer Awareness month. Furthermore, all proceeds from Pegboard Nerds' EP are going toward Fuck Cancer, the best titled non-profit in the game. How fucking cool is that!? Especially because Pegboard Nerds is made up of 2 Scandinavian dudes. Not that I wouldn't expect this kind of dedication towards titty cancer from DJs, but...I wouldn't. Mainly because I would never associate DJs with anything besides hedonism and raves. So thank you Pegboard Nerds, for opening my eyes to the philanthropic DJs of the world. Maybe you are the only ones. "Pink Cloud" doesn't even sound like it though, that's the best part. It can stand alone as a (non-cancer) dance party anthem. There are ADHD synthesizers, there are sugary vocals. There is a torrent of background clapping. Mostly, it sounds like a song from Mario Kart. In the best way. I wish all content related to cancer was this uplifting.


Matt Corby- Monday

10/12/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


This song has way too many good vibes to be labelled as "Monday". A track labelled Monday should consist of like an aggressively-long string of swear words layered over an iPhone alarm that goes off every 9 minutes for an hour and a half. The true sounds of Satan's favorite day of the week. The latest from Aussie-native Matt Corby is so chill and soothing it should be called "mid-winter-bubble-bath" or "First-Class-hand-towels". Just something that fully depicts the amount of bliss I am feeling RN as Corby's warm harmonies pour through my elated eardrums. I guess those titles probably didn't kill it in the marketing and promotions meetings, though. Not very eloquent, but, hey, that's my tagline! I know I'm being more shallow than a Californian reservoir when I say this, but, the only thing I love more than Corby's crooning is his beautiful fucking face. He truly looks like the love child of Liam Hemsworth and Jesus. Because, let's be honest, if Jesus swung that way he would definitely be into Gale Hawthorne's defined biceps and piercing husky eyes. HOW COULD HE NOT BE???

XYLØ - L.A Love Song

10/12/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


An (apparent) series of unfortunate events continues for XYLØ. I mean I don't really know what's up with these two, but each single convinces me this band is what would have happened if the Bauderlaire family grew up to make dark-pop music. AMAZING dark pop music. 4th single in, and these guys are still bringing it. This is impressive, because most people have exactly 1 good song in them. Just ask Carly Rae Jepson. Or Gotye. To have four very solid singles is a great indicator you could fill out an entire album.   <----- (I'm so smart right, I should definitely run Sony.) Furthermore, XYLØ is original! They sound like L.A developed the mistiness and gloom of London. And "Depressed L.A." is such a fresh concept. At least for me. Don't yell at me if I'm wrong. Basically I love XYLØ and I'm being gushy and inarticulate. I have reverted to junior year in high school, when I tried to talk to my hot history teacher about my paper on Reconstruction but ended up babbling about my mom's cat. You guys are like my Jeff Goldblum of indie music.*** U rock don't change.

PS, we realized you tweeted some of the lyrics to this song @ us in July: "We're all living in the gutter / Some of us are looking at the stars" Such stealth promotion you sly dogs!!


***Jeff Goldblum is the celebrity I would sleep with if given my pick. No playin. But honestly I would sleep with anyone who was in The Big Chill. Even Glenn Close.

Kill J- You're Good But I'm Better

10/12/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


Somewhere out there, Janet Jackson is pounding a bottle of sparkling rosé and literally kicking herself for not fronting this track herself. I say "literally kicking herself" because her dances skills are INSANE and she most definitely is flexible enough to pull of such a feat. The slinky R&B production quality here would work seamlessly with Jackson's tender yet poppy vocals. But yah snooze, yah lose Janet, and all my praise and love goes to Kill J instead #srynotsry.  The whole track is a beautiful showcase of the Denmark-native's vocal control, range and versatility. This combined with all those quirky, progressive production choices throughout have me grooving. HARD. Not to mention that the track falls under my favorite category of music: bitter pop. I don't think the females of our society will ever get tired of hearing a woman wail about how she finally realize what a huge DICK her boyfriend was to her. We will just continually change what hashtag I will use to show our support. It used to be #preeeeeach,  now it's progressed to #YAAASS and in the future I can only predict/ hope it will be something poetic and prolific like #pizzaequalsBAE.

Beach Baby - Limousine

10/11/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


London-based Beach Baby is doing great work for multiple communities with the release of new track "Limousine." For starters, they are giving good face to the surfer-rock genre. Many more times than not, young hipsters everywhere think the key to a successful surfer-rock band is fuzzy reverb and a Instagram-filtered music video. This is false. You think Brian Wilson did that shit?! No he did not, he sat in his bedroom crafting beautiful harmonies until he literally went insane. While I hope Beach Baby are not driving themselves schitzo creating new tunes, I must applaud them on the presence of legitimate hooks. This is a very catchy piece of pop, and restores my faith in the surfer-rock genre. Secondly, Beach Baby is doing great things for the spelling community. Tell me universe, do any of you know how to spell "LIMOUSINE."? I certainly did not. To be honest, I forgot that "limo" had more letters attached to it formally. But reviewing this song has forced me to confront my inability to spell LIMOUSINE. Now all I need are songs entitled "license," "rhythm," and "pharaoh" Or just like, the internet and spell check. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
 

Møme - Aloha (ft. Merryn Jeann)

10/11/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


In my initial research conducted on Møme (1 google search if you must know. Please don't expect more from someone who attended half of college), I found out the following casual facts: Møme was born and raised on the French Riviera, but is now based out of Paris. FRENCH RIVIERA....& PARIS.... Let's all process this. Møme, I'm not going to jump to conclusions. Maybe you were born in a box and the location happened to be the French Riviera. But mostly I have to assume your life was pretty fucking charmed. Have you ever seen a poor person!? Have you ever mistaken Kim Kardashian for one when she frolics through your backyard? I have to imagine not, because this song seems untainted by any Kardashian sighting. To me, "Aloha" is pure "electronic -French-Great-Gatsby." Daisy would be all over this shit. If I ever steal enough money from someone to buy a plane ticket to the South of France, I want to go clubbing and listen to a sped-up version of this song on the dancefloor. It's breezy and sexxaay. Meeryn Jeann's voice sounds raspy jazzy and a little old-timey. And that "marching" drop is just perfect. Last word: I love that cover art. Very "Heart of Darkness." More plz Møme.



PHASES- I'm in Love With My Life (Eau Claire Remix)

10/09/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


WARNING: if u Yahoo search* "PHASES" and u don't <3 the lunar cycle more than your first-born child, you will be confused and disappointed by the search results. Yahoo obvi doesn't follow the hipster music scene very intensely. Loserssss.

But, other than this one cyberspace caviat, I have absolutely nothing negative to say in this post. As if the PHASES original tune wasn't infectious enough, Eau Claire takes a stab at "I'm in Love With My Life" and achieves a Hermione-Granger-level of success with it. The feel-good piano slabs and groovy back-beat all accompany the blissful Californian vocals flawlessly. It's the perfect track to play after anything in your life goes wrong, as it repeats the phrase "I'm in Love With My Life" so many times that ur brainwashed into believing it's so. Got a massive zit on your face? Turn this on and by the end you'll have your ego boosted so high that you'll be SnapChatting unfiltered selfies to your crush. Starbucks got ur coffee order wrong but you'll be late to work if you take the time to complain? Pop this on and it'll seem like you got those 2 extra expresso shots you fucking asked for.

*I'm writing this on someone else computer who literally hasn't updated any computer or phone applications since Mischa Barton was a relevant celeb entity. So her deafult search browser is Yahoo!.... lol.

*RELEASE* Autograf- Metaphysical (ft. Janelle Kroll)

10/07/2015 tunes4loons 0 Comments


A true hidden gem. Yes, it has been alllllll over the HypeM, but I was talking about "hidden" in terms of our overstuffed submissions inbox. Finding a blog-worthy tune in there is like finding a good selfie of myself in the photos app (aka nearly impossible). Like, I dig ur updates SnapChat, but can we get a filter that gives me Karlie Kloss cheekbones plzzz? I would MyStory that shit all day, every day.

"Metaphysical" is the latest progressive project from Chicago trio "Autograf" and it's a jam and a half, y'alll!! It's chill yet bouncy. Light and tropical, but also emotional and a little dark. Its symphonic strings, melodic piano and infectious beat all combine to create the perfect track for your Sunday morning hangover (or is that just my current situation?? FUCK whoever thought vodka martinis were the move at the bar last night... Oh wait, that was me -___-. Sry, I have the memory of a goldfish).



Autograf says, “to us, ‘Metaphysical’ isn’t about the origin of the universe. It’s about the reality we create in our own lives. When we peel back the layers, we’re all just human inside.” But are we merely human, Autograf?? 'Cause Brandon Flowers says we're denser? <--- Yeeeeeah, just got all 2008 up in this biotch. t4L, out!!




Kygo & Ella Henderson - Wildest Dreams (Taylor Swift Cover)

10/05/2015 Tunes For Loons 0 Comments


Well, the tears of happiness I cried when I heard this can probably speak better than my dumb words can. To paraphrase every Buzzfeed "article" in existence, this cover is...EVERYTHING. I'm serious guys. Run do not walk, and play this on repeat forever. Firstly, Ella Henderson has more soul in her gel manicure than Taylor Swift does in her entire body. I know this because a) her voice sounds one million times better and b) Taylor Swift did not climb her way to the top by being full of soul. She clawed her way there by being dead inside!!! Secondly, the scaled back approach to covering this song is a smart move. It lets Ella's perfect voice dominate and also adds an additional layer of melancholy. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my Notebook lover when I hear this, and the truth is I've never even loved a dog.*** Also KYGO is here. When I saw his name in the title I admit I was expecting the full tropical house treatment. The fact that instead he brought Birdy-esque piano makes me love him even more. Truly a great pairing. God bless BBC Live Lounge. Except for the time you allowed Katy Perry to cover Niggas in Paris. For this I can never forgive you.


***jk, my dog was perfect and I loved her as much as drunk girls love selfies and crying. Humans are the worst though, and I would gladly trade most of them for a lifetime Netflix subscription. And that's cheap as fuck so you know I'm not messing around.